"some music was meant to stay underground..."

Interview

Interview With Jason Kolkey of Deus Absconditus

Having known the vocalist of Deus Absconditus for the past year, an interview was inevitable. For those no in the know, Deus Absconditus have just recently released and EP and become one of the biggest bands in America despite being on a no-name label. Their brand of death metal meets everything else has taken the world by storm to the point where everyone who goes on Metal Underground now knows who these five brave souls are.

Dasher10: As a college literature instructor/grad student, who are your favorite writers?

Jason Kolkey: Stephanie Meyer has single-handedly re-defined the novel in the 21st century. Vampires have always been truly intended to be pale, moronic metrosexuals covered in body glitter. William Blake, Fyodor Dostoevsky, and Alan Moore are pretty okay too.

Dasher10: How does it feel to know that you have the most homoerotic stage show since Manowar (in a most literal way)?

Jason: I take great pride in showing people the joys of hot, sweaty man-love. If you don't like some man-tits and penis in your metal show, I don't want you around.

Dasher10: Any chance that you'll play another house show? And do you do Bar Mitvah's if for no other reason than to traumatize middle schoolers with death metal?

Jason: I like house shows. It's easy to find a bed within which I can impregnate my many sex-crazed groupies. Bar Mitzvahs are even better. Cocktail weenies, thirteen-year-olds, elderly Jewish women, and, of course, our brilliant renditions of the "Electric Slide," "Funky Chicken," and "Hava Nagila."

Dasher10: Where do you get your inspiration and/or motivation to play some of the strange genre shifts that you do?

Jason: We're not good enough to just play one thing well. By constantly shifting styles we hope to keep people from realizing how badly we suck.

Dasher10: Did you get a new Wolves in the Throne Room Shirt to replace the one that got lost in unfortunate circumstances that I may or may not have inadvertently had something to do with?

Jason:Actually, I found it behind the couch when we were cleaning up the house the next day. Otherwise I would have cut the price of a new one from your flesh. Advertising the northwest's greatest hipster black metal is that important to me.

Dasher10: Having just released an EP, have you gotten any offers from record labels?

Jason: Pouring in left and right, of course. Who wouldn't want a band of drunken idiots who play a difficult-to-classify-much-less-market form of extreme metal? I recommend that labels that want to sweep us up before we're committed to a long-term deal take us all out for dinner at a fine French restaurant and provide copious amounts of wine.

Dasher10: Wanna see my dick?

Jason: Sure. It's only fair. Remember to always use protection.

Dasher10's avatar

Matt is a freelance writer living in Chicago, Illinois and a metalhead since 1999.

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4 Comments on "Interview With Deus Absconditus"

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Dasher10's avatar

Writer/Reviewer

1. Dasher10 writes:

Fun fact, this interview is actually real and it's ironic but not a joke at all.

# Apr 1, 2010 @ 1:12 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
DeathCrush's avatar

Member

2. DeathCrush writes:

APRIL FOOLS DASHER!!!!

# Apr 3, 2010 @ 3:03 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Dasher10's avatar

Writer/Reviewer

3. Dasher10 writes:

This interview is real. Jason and I just agreed to not take ourselves seriously at all.

# Apr 3, 2010 @ 9:26 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
n0thinghead's avatar

Podcaster/Writer

4. n0thinghead writes:

well, i enjoyed the interview vry much dasher. it made my balls jiggle and gave me gas. these r good signs.

# Apr 6, 2010 @ 10:23 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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