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Celebrity Apprentice: No One Listens to Bret

Photo of Poison

Band Photo: Poison (?)

Episode three begins with Bret on the defensive. Believing he is being shut out, he voices his concern to all that will listen. No one is listening.

For this week’s challenge, ROCK Solid chooses Michael Johnson, Olympic gold medal winner, to be their Project Manager. Bret approaches Michael and asks to be his “Right Hand Man”. Johnson doesn’t listen to Bret. The task is to create an advertisement for an online identity theft software package. Bret continues to persist, dominating the conversation, but no one is listening. Bret begins rolling his eyes, at one point they roll all the up into his bandana. From here it gets worse; it appears Bret is taking a dive.

On the women’s side, Sharon Osbourne is explaining reality television to the team, “We are all going to hate each other in the end!” She says. This was only a warm up to Sharon calling out her Project Manager, Summer Sanders, (also an Olympic medalist), by questioning her intelligence and dropping numerous F bombs. Once again, Sharon is looking way past the immediate task, focused on winning it all.

Half-way through episode three I would have to say early odds to win it all are: Bret Michaels 500 to 1, an Olympic medalist 10 to 1, and Sharon Osbourne the early favorite at 2 to 1.

Meanwhile, ROCK Solid has hired a graphic artist, a young girl that Bret Michaels continues to hit on. He refers to her as “Sexy” three times, but then lets the viewers know that he isn’t “Creepy”. Great, so we’re all good here then. As Michaels begins making head way on the girl, Michael Johnson cock blocks Bret, asking the girl to stay focused on the task. Bret shakes his head, eyes return to his bandana.

The girls have decided to make Sharon the face of their advertisement, Summer says it’s perfect to have “Sharon watching over you and your family.” A statement of madness by the Project Manager. During the girls presentation, Sharon again becomes “sick” and plays the sympathy card. Well done Sharon, you’re odds have just increased to 3 to 2.

Back at ROCK Solid a heated argument continues between Bret and Michael Johnson over font size. Michaels wants a larger font, Johnson a smaller one. Vote now at: http://www.whogivesacrap.com. Clearly, Bret just wants to go home.

Finally, we reach the boardroom. Michaels is wearing all black, including a black bandana. Will this be a day of mourning for Bret in the boardroom? Donald Trump compliments Cyndi Lauper’s music. No word on Bret or Poison’s music. Trump lets the teams know that the girls won, mostly because they had less words and a larger font size.

Michael Johnson takes responsibility for the wordiness and font size, but doesn’t speak up when asked if anyone challenged him. To say Bret is disengaged at this point is to say Guns N Roses may have dabbled in drugs at one time. Staring down Michael, Bret and his bandana are ready to speak, and predictably someone speaks up and says that they want to go home, but it’s not Bret, it’s World Series champion Darryl Strawberry. Strawberry is fired.

Cut to next week’s previews and we see Michaels has gone back to the red bandana. What does this mean? Apparently nothing, but I have to say this show isn’t giving us a lot in the form of entertainment so stay tuned as we follow Bret’s bandana next week.

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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6 Comments on "Celebrity Apprentice: No One Listens to Bret"

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Anonymous Reader
1. RTB writes:

God, there is just too many bad television shows in the US these days....i watched like 2 minutes of this and was bored off my azz.....watching reruns of all in the family, three's company,and leave it to beaver by far and away waste any tv show today and are far more entertaining and funny...
Only decent show in the last few years has been 24...USA we suck at making beer,choosing politicans and go ahead and add cranking out bad televison shows......

# Mar 30, 2010 @ 4:16 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
BrunoHockalugie's avatar

Member

2. BrunoHockalugie writes:

RTB- Wassup!?!? Agreed, these shows are f***in' terrible. Personally I watch old Beverly Hillbillies episodes instead.

# Mar 30, 2010 @ 5:57 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Blindgreed1's avatar

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3. Blindgreed1 writes:

I love these updates because my lady likes these shows. Now I can talk with her about the show and I never have to sit through an episode. Thanks David!!!

# Mar 30, 2010 @ 6:14 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Rychemn's avatar

Member

4. Rychemn writes:

I'm not listening either.....or watching..hee, hee....

# Mar 30, 2010 @ 7:49 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
5. RTB writes:

Bruno doing well sir, hope all is well in the OC for you.....btw now you know where i get alot of my unfunny bits from....archie bunker, eddie haskel and larry dallas, all wise azzes
I know you gotta couple shows lined up ( megadeth, and opeth) but if you happen to stumble to cannibal corpse on may 6 in la let me know....mayhem fest is a lock, i ll also be at AILD in SD (soma) and the glasshouse in april for darkest hour....
I know we re suppose to be rooting for the kings in the playoffs, but as of this minute, i like caps coyotes in the final....
Keep drinkin and representing the OC proudly bro.....cheers

# Mar 31, 2010 @ 2:35 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
WOLF7's avatar

Member

6. WOLF7 writes:

For some reason I started to think of Spinal Tap and the fantastic Stonehenge stage set where the measures got a bit mixed up. The comment made by Spinal Tap's manager, "Well who cares what Nigel says?" while Nigel is actually some 3 feet away is a classic.

And of course this had nothing to do with the actual news, as usual... ;)

# Mar 31, 2010 @ 7:14 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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