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The Rockstar Ramblings: The GNR Video Trilogy II

Photo of Guns N Roses

Band Photo: Guns N Roses (?)

In week four of Celebrity Fit Club we finally get to see Sebastian Bach (Skid Row) in true form, that is to say, the anger finally appears. The best comparison I see is looking at Skid Row’s self titled debut album versus the follow-up, Slave to The Grind, going from “I Remember You” to “The Threat,” a sweet ballad to destruction. In this episode Bach goes from 0 to 100 in a matter of minutes, hitting cameras, getting in the face of female teammates, and dropping fifty F-bombs in less than five minutes. Nice to have you back Sebastian…

A quick clarification: The WARRANT issued for Jani Lane is not his band requesting him back, but an actual warrant for his arrest due to a missed court appearance…

Jackyl has released the name of their new upcoming album, titled When Moonshine and Dynamite Collide. Only comment here is that we’re all lucky it’s difficult to conceal a chainsaw…

This week’s GREAT IDEA goes to Steel Panther for their “Groupie for a Day” contest. We should all be so lucky…

Dee Snider’s (Twisted Sister) Strangeland horror movie has been given a green light for the sequel titled Strangeland: Disciple. The announcement came with news that the movie will be shot in Cleveland. For those that have been, this will be scary…

KISS has announced that they are in development for a half-hour comedy show. Very little news at this point but I’m thinking Gene Simmons plays the main character. If a female lead is needed I am positive Tawny Kitaen is available…

Axl Rose and the new Guns N Roses have just hired Dale “Rage” Resteghini to document the GNR South American tour. The reason given is to incorporate photos and footage into grand scale “November Rain” type videos to support Chinese Democracy. Is another trilogy in the works? Let’s hope so. Ever since the Use Your Illusion trilogy featuring “Don’t Cry”, “November Rain”, “Estranged” there has been a need for an over the top, high production follow-up. Just kidding, but here is what I propose to Axl and friends:

VIDEO ONE is for “There Was a Time”. It starts with Axl sitting in a mansion in the Hollywood hills, he is alone, on a couch with a table of news and clippings of Guns demise in front of him. He is smoking a cigarette in his trademark holder of course. Cut to a strip club where he becomes infatuated with one of the dancers, they leave together in a large SUV size limo. The rest of the video is scenes of Axl in court.

VIDEO TWO is for “Street of Dreams” and starts with flashbacks of a fight in the strip club followed by another court scene where the girl from the first video is filing for a restraining order. The final shot shows Axl again in his mansion, all alone.

VIDEO THREE is for “This I Love.” It shows the stripper now as a high class model on a runway. She is back with Axl and there is a wedding scene. After the wedding they get into the SUV size limo and appear to drive off into the sunset until a cliff appears, the SUV size limo is driven off, killing all. The limo is driven by a man wearing a black top hat…

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David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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1. KREDD writes:

a wedding scene where it starts raining and ppl dive over tables and thru the wedding cake in slo mo? yes.

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