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The Rockstar Ramblings: Video Marathon

Photo of Motley Crue

Band Photo: Motley Crue (?)

Today’s column takes us through another marathon of 80’s glam metal videos. This special presentation is sponsored by Stella beer and Patron tequila.

The acting of the boy driving the car in Winger’s “Hunger” video is the second worst acting job of all time, second only to Keanu Reeves as an F.B.I. agent in Point Break…

If Motley Crue’s video for “Girls Girls Girls” teaches us anything it’s that the chair can be (and
should be )a stripper’s best friend…

No one thrusts a guitar into the camera better than the boys from Vinnie Vincent Invasion…

In the video for Keel’s “The Right to Rock” it appears the guitarist is playing in the same set used for the Beastie Boys video “You’ve Got to Fight for Your Right to Party”. Wait! Is the big guy in the suit with dark glasses John Goodman from Blues Brothers 2000? Regardless of the answer, the past minute has been an incredible moment in my life…

While watching these videos I like to play a game I created titled: IS THIS EPIC GLAM? First round features Enuff Z Nuff’s video “New Thing”. Neon Colors? CHECK. Scantily dressed girls in tight skirts? CHECK. Spandex and lip stick? CHECK. Bonus point in this video: The pink lipstick of the lead singer matches the microphone. VERDICT is yes, THIS IS EPIC GLAM…

Before KIX made the video “Get it While it’s Hot” did the lead singer actually ask his hairdresser for the Joe Elliot (Def Lepard)?...

What are the odds a young M.C. Hammer was sitting at home watching MTV, saw the David Lee Roth video for “Just Like Paradise” and decided he wanted pants like Roth? Behind The Music: Hammer Pants…

Round two of IS THIS EPIC GLAM? features Faster Pussycat’s “You’re So Vain”. Spandex and eye shadow? CHECK. Girls in tight skirts? CHECK. Guy in Speedo? CHECK. Bonus point in this video: The loop earrings worn by lead singer Taime Downe. VERDICT is no, this is NOT epic. There are no winners when you place a guy in a Speedo in your video…

Joe Satriani actually made a video for “Satch Boggie”? It was in black and white? This really happened?...

Many bands have used the fake audiences in their videos, but Black N Blue goes way too far with “Be There For You”. I really don’t think the audience at a Black N Blue concert would hold up signs with the bands individual names. It is too contrived; even Slaughter knew not to cross this line…

On the other hand, The Scorpions “Rock You Like A Hurricane” video’s use of the cage takes on an intimacy with their fans that to this day is hard to replicate in video. Lesson for the kids: Cages don’t always have to have naked girls inside to enjoy. It helps, but it’s not required…

Bret Michaels (Poison) changes his costume three times prior to actually singing a word in the video “Unskinny Bop”. This has got to be a new record (previously owned by Bret Michaels from the “Talk Dirty To Me” video)…

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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