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Satyrasis Parts Ways With Drummer Jake Bryan

Michigan metallers Satyrasis has issued the following statement about parting ways with their drummer:

"Object Permanence: the understanding that objects continue to exist even when they cannot be seen, heard, or touched. This kiddies is our term of the day......or probably, the next decade. You will have to learn to develop it in the instance of this band from here on out. To start things off, Jake Bryan has quite perplexingly decided to run straight out from left field and quit the band. Details are erroneous, but we can say with much certainty that if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck....chances are it drummed for us and it ended badly. We have, thankfully, been informed that a better band has already been formed, which will be reprieving you from us, as soon as you die from holding your breath.

"With the posturing over with, let me be quite frank with the supermassive legion that is our fanbase........We're idiots, the lot of us. If you know us, you know this already. We make bad decisions so much, you'd think it makes us cum....... It doesn't. Shortsightedness, unneeded pressure & sacrifice, trusting those unworthy of trust, taking seriously those who are habitually insincere. The Zit has (finally) popped.

"Sadly, short of the miraculous.....we will be confining ourselves to the back of bus.....and since it's Satyrasis, it's a pretty short bus. We won't be too concerned with much else besides perusing exploits that don't involve whatever it is that metal bands are becoming in 2010 or the standards by which those bands are judged. This is not a Requiem for a Satyrasis....yet. And we'll be sure to let you know when it is. Until then.....object permanence is key."

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