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The Rockstar Ramblings: The Velvet Revolver Vocalist Search Continues

Band Photo: Velvet Revolver (?)

Last week Corey Taylor (Slipknot) announced that he tried out for the available lead singer spot for Velvet Revolver. Apparently he has not been offered the job, but this definitely gives us an idea of how the band’s search is going and that is to say not well.

Rumors (most found to be factual) have placed country singers, Sabastian Bach, and Lenny Kravitz at VR auditions this past year. Given Duff McKagan and Slash’s solo projects it’s a mystery to me why they continue to press the need for a lead singer so urgently; however, this continues to be a priority despite no “perfect” fit found up to this point. How can we help? Let’s break down the top ten leading (available) candidates and why they would/would not be a good fit for the ex gunners…

10. Sammy Hagar: Usually the two words “Tequila Shots” is a good thing, but not with this band.

9. David Bowie: Purely a move to piss of Scott Weiland. He leaves the band, you grab his mentor/hero. If this isn’t revenge enough…

8. Mary Weiland: She has a “tell all” book. Does that qualify her to head up this band? Actually, I don’t know. What exactly are they looking for again?

7. Ozzy Osbourne: He is working with Slash on his album, plus… Would anything from this man surprise you at this point?

6. Rob Thomas: Just kidding…

5. Ted Nugent: Probably only for one record, but an intense live stage performance of guitar solos, tall hats, and flaming arrows.

4. Perry Farrell: Actually, this would be an interesting clash of Farrell’s alternative sound, Duff’s punk side, and Slash’s blues guitar.

3. Johnny Rotten: Maybe a little too old to be playing with these young forty-somethings, although I bet secretly Duff would pick him first if truly available.

2. Chris Gaines (the alter ego of Garth Brooks)

1. Chris Cornell: Seems like a guy that needs a band to complement the voice and stay focused. Did you hear the solo record?

David S. Grant is the author of Corporate Porn, Bleach|Blackout, and Hollywood Ending. His new book “Rockstars: The Rise, Fall, and Rise of Eighties Front men into Pop Culture will be available in November 2009. For more information go to http://www.davidsgrant.com

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.