The Rockstar Ramblings: The Rehab Special Report
Band Photo: Guns N Roses (?)
It appears Crue fans will have to rest for a Summer as Cruefest goes on hiatus until 2011. Nikki Sixx (Motley Crue) does however leave the possibility open of having the festival continue next year with a new headlining act. Here’s hoping W.A.S.P. and Blackie Lawless are ready with a bucket of raw meat and sharp knives to cut people…
The now infamous GNR stalker has continued mailing Steven Adler, referring to herself as his “Runaway Kitty Kat”. I hope Steven has already created a song by that name, if not I’m sure Axl has already put it on the playlist for his next album titled 2029…Jon Bon Jovi is promising the new Bon Jovi record will be a rock record. In related news, Bon Jovi is currently featured as the TBS house band for their baseball promotions...Never shy Vince Neil (Motley Crue) in an interview where he puts down Axl Rose also taunts Paris Hilton, inviting her back to his bedroom to give her tips on how to make a decent sex tape. Do I hear an idea for another VH1 reality show? Here’s the pitch: Vince Neil and Lita Ford (currently promoting her upcoming S&M rock record) invite 6 men and 6 women to a mansion where they attempt to make sex tapes. Each night Neil and Ford critique the tapes and send two (1 man, 1 woman) home. The final two win a chance to make a sex tape with the hosts, Neil and Ford…
Steven Tyler (Aerosmith) has apparently fallen off, tipped over, and slammed the “wagon” into the wall. Latest reports have him partying like a teenager while his band won’t speak to him. Hopefully, Tyler will pull it together and have another successful rehab stint and not turn Aerosmith into an elderly version of The Doors. Speaking of rehab, it would be nice to see some others seek treatment for their illnesses. Some suggestions include: Bret Michaels (Poison) new found dependency on his worn cowboy hats. The continued disappointment of seeing Vince Neil wearing a Motley Crue shirt during his shows (you are with the band, we know). We also need a reality show rehab that should fittingly be founded and attended by Ozzy Osbourne. In general, when discussing rehab it’s a good idea to keep an open reservation for a member of Van Halen. That bed is never unoccupied for very long…
David S. Grant is the author of books Corporate Porn, Bleach|Blackout, Hollywood Ending, Emotionless Souls, and The Last Breakfast. His new novel, Blood-the New Red, will be available this fall. For more information please go to http://www.davidsgrant.com.
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