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The Rockstar Ramblings: A Tribute to Cherry Pie

Photo of Ozzy Osbourne

Band Photo: Ozzy Osbourne (?)

In a recent interview Michael Sweet (Stryper) confirmed that the band has sold eight million albums. Welcome to the new segment called, “Holy Shit! That’s Crazy!”…

So I always wondered what happens when Sharon Osbourne isn’t around Ozzy. While Sharon has been seen on TV the past few weeks judging “America’s Got Talent” Ozzy has had the following happen: 1. “Dismissed” guitar player Zakk Wylde, apparently forgetting to tell him in the process. 2. Had his family show “The Osbournes Reloaded” cancelled. 3. Had his dog eaten by a coyote. SHARON! Come back before Ozzy inadvertently starts World War III…

Jani Lane (Warrant) this past week was formerly convicted of drinking and driving. When first approached (after hitting a parked car) Lane refused a sobriety test. Apparently he asked the question, “Do you know who I am?” and the LAPD did not…

Given Jani’s recent problems this feels like the right time to discuss a significant moment in the pop culture portion of my life. I will always remember where I was during the O.J. Simpson Bronco chase, where I was sitting when I saw Keanu Reeves acting in the movie Point Break, and when I first saw the video for Warrant’s “Cherry Pie”. This video was important for a few reasons. First, it featured Bobbie Brown who appeared more “outgoing” than Tawny Kitaen. Let’s face it, at the end of the night, Kitaen was always going home with David Coverdale (Whitesnake). With Bobbie though, despite Jani Lane and Bobbie Brown being an item, I got the impression Brown made her mark around the scene (and not only where the down boys were hanging out if you know what I mean). Secondly, the song featured the following lyrics: She Wanted Me to Feed Her/So I Mixed Up the Batter/And She Licked the Beater. It would take many years before Josh Todd and Buckcherry came through with more direct lyrics. Finally, the slice of cherry pie falling onto Bobbie Brown’s lap was one of those watershed DID THAT JUST HAPPEN! moments, followed one minute later by Lane with a wide smile wearing fake teeth and I’m thinking now, DID THAT JUST HAPPEN!...

David S. Grant is the author of books Corporate Porn, Bleach|Blackout, Hollywood Ending, Emotionless Souls, and The Last Breakfast. His new novel, Blood-the New Red, will be available this fall. For more information please go to http://www.davidsgrant.com.

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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