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The Rockstar Ramblings: Top 5 Strip Club Songs

Band Photo: Guns N Roses (?)

At the 63rd Annual Tony Awards Bret Michaels (Poison) was hit in the head by a descending stage prop. Watching the clip, I couldn’t help think that had Michaels done the “drop and roll” move from the “Talk Dirty To Me” video this whole fiasco could have been avoided.

For those unfamiliar this was a move used in the beginning of their videos when they would come out onto a stage to perform. Typically Bret would “drop and roll” with C.C. Deville jumping over him, then Bret would launch into the lyrics. This is the same move seen in “I Want Action,” “Nothing But A Good Time,” and “Unskinny Bop” videos. Side note on “Unskinny Bop,” the breakthrough use of digital women on the sides of Michael’s has still never been copied. I assumed this would be a staple for rock bands moving forward, but somehow never progressed... Bret Michael’s is featured in an interview in the July Issue of Elle magazine, stating that he will sometimes endanger his life by not taking his insulin shots for his diabetes in order to last longer having sex, saying, “With low blood sugar you have the stamina of a bull.” Okay Bret, it may be time to loosen the bandana.

Irving Azoft, the manager for Axl Rose (Guns and Roses) has reportedly been fired three times in the past five weeks. Rumor has it Axl has not left his house for six weeks and is contemplating cutting off his hair so that he isn’t recognized in the streets. News on a world tour coming soon.

The KISS marketing machine continues this week with the launch of KISS pocket knives, giving thirteen year-old cutters an official band sponsored tool for their self inflicted wounds. In other KISS news, the ongoing feud between Gene Simmons and Carlos Santana continues. In 2005 Santana said Simmons was not an artist, but an entertainer. This week Simmons struck back at Santana, saying “It's time for us to go out and show the little boys how the big boys do it…I'm sick and tired of these bands like Carlos Santana looking at his shoes and thinking that's a rock concert." Do we have to wait until 2013 for Santana’s response or can we agree now to call this one a stalemate? The waiting for this response may kill me.

This week’s installment of taking a shot at dead rockers comes from Ted Nugent saying, “Jimi (Hendrix) got high, and Jimi is dead. I went hunting and I'm still Ted.”

From the ANYTHING is POSSIBLE pages: During a Motley Crue show this week in Denmark a fan threw the flag of Sweden on stage, not realizing it was the rival’s flag (Denmark and Sweden had a soccer match that day) Vince Neil draped himself in the flag, only to hear boos from the crowd. Apparently it was Tommy Lee who figured out what was happening and told Neil to ditch the flag. Tommy has been known for many things in his career, but how often has Lee been referred to as “the smart one?”

David Coverdale (Whitesnake) in an interview discussed the album Slide It In and its relevance in today’s culture. “It’s always doing well in the pole dancing business” Coverdale was quoted as saying. Agreed, Whitesnake belongs. Here is my list of top five strip club songs:

5. Sweet Child O’ Mine (Guns and Roses): The distinct start, soft vocals in the beginning, and harsh “where do we go” ending puts this Axl and company in regular rotation at the Gentlemen’s clubs as well as making my list.

4. More Human Than Human (White Zombie): The woman (or women) in the background and fast beat promises a lot of swinging from the pole. It is also a dead giveaway that this dancer is “available” for private sessions.

3. Girls, Girls, Girls (Motley Crue): A song and video that celebrates strip clubs and their dancers. Enough said.

2. Here I Go Again (Whitesnake): There should be a rule that any ex-stripper autobiography should be named “Here I Go Again”.

1. Seventeen (Winger): Not typically a regular on the playlists, but I believe should be added to the main catalog.

David S. Grant is the author of books Corporate Porn, Bleach|Blackout, Hollywood Ending, Emotionless Souls, and The Last Breakfast. His new novel, Blood-the New Red, will be available this fall. For more information please go to http://www.davidsgrant.com.

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.