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The Rockstar Ramblings: Top 5 Strip Club Songs

Photo of Guns N Roses

Band Photo: Guns N Roses (?)

At the 63rd Annual Tony Awards Bret Michaels (Poison) was hit in the head by a descending stage prop. Watching the clip, I couldn’t help think that had Michaels done the “drop and roll” move from the “Talk Dirty To Me” video this whole fiasco could have been avoided.

For those unfamiliar this was a move used in the beginning of their videos when they would come out onto a stage to perform. Typically Bret would “drop and roll” with C.C. Deville jumping over him, then Bret would launch into the lyrics. This is the same move seen in “I Want Action,” “Nothing But A Good Time,” and “Unskinny Bop” videos. Side note on “Unskinny Bop,” the breakthrough use of digital women on the sides of Michael’s has still never been copied. I assumed this would be a staple for rock bands moving forward, but somehow never progressed... Bret Michael’s is featured in an interview in the July Issue of Elle magazine, stating that he will sometimes endanger his life by not taking his insulin shots for his diabetes in order to last longer having sex, saying, “With low blood sugar you have the stamina of a bull.” Okay Bret, it may be time to loosen the bandana.

Irving Azoft, the manager for Axl Rose (Guns and Roses) has reportedly been fired three times in the past five weeks. Rumor has it Axl has not left his house for six weeks and is contemplating cutting off his hair so that he isn’t recognized in the streets. News on a world tour coming soon.

The KISS marketing machine continues this week with the launch of KISS pocket knives, giving thirteen year-old cutters an official band sponsored tool for their self inflicted wounds. In other KISS news, the ongoing feud between Gene Simmons and Carlos Santana continues. In 2005 Santana said Simmons was not an artist, but an entertainer. This week Simmons struck back at Santana, saying “It's time for us to go out and show the little boys how the big boys do it…I'm sick and tired of these bands like Carlos Santana looking at his shoes and thinking that's a rock concert." Do we have to wait until 2013 for Santana’s response or can we agree now to call this one a stalemate? The waiting for this response may kill me.

This week’s installment of taking a shot at dead rockers comes from Ted Nugent saying, “Jimi (Hendrix) got high, and Jimi is dead. I went hunting and I'm still Ted.”

From the ANYTHING is POSSIBLE pages: During a Motley Crue show this week in Denmark a fan threw the flag of Sweden on stage, not realizing it was the rival’s flag (Denmark and Sweden had a soccer match that day) Vince Neil draped himself in the flag, only to hear boos from the crowd. Apparently it was Tommy Lee who figured out what was happening and told Neil to ditch the flag. Tommy has been known for many things in his career, but how often has Lee been referred to as “the smart one?”

David Coverdale (Whitesnake) in an interview discussed the album Slide It In and its relevance in today’s culture. “It’s always doing well in the pole dancing business” Coverdale was quoted as saying. Agreed, Whitesnake belongs. Here is my list of top five strip club songs:

5. Sweet Child O’ Mine (Guns and Roses): The distinct start, soft vocals in the beginning, and harsh “where do we go” ending puts this Axl and company in regular rotation at the Gentlemen’s clubs as well as making my list.

4. More Human Than Human (White Zombie): The woman (or women) in the background and fast beat promises a lot of swinging from the pole. It is also a dead giveaway that this dancer is “available” for private sessions.

3. Girls, Girls, Girls (Motley Crue): A song and video that celebrates strip clubs and their dancers. Enough said.

2. Here I Go Again (Whitesnake): There should be a rule that any ex-stripper autobiography should be named “Here I Go Again”.

1. Seventeen (Winger): Not typically a regular on the playlists, but I believe should be added to the main catalog.

David S. Grant is the author of books Corporate Porn, Bleach|Blackout, Hollywood Ending, Emotionless Souls, and The Last Breakfast. His new novel, Blood-the New Red, will be available this fall. For more information please go to http://www.davidsgrant.com.

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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25 Comments on "The Rockstar Ramblings: Top 5 Strip Club Songs"

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Diamond Oz's avatar

Senior News Correspondent

1. Diamond Oz writes:

Haha, good stuff!

# Jun 12, 2009 @ 7:20 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
GORECUNT's avatar

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2. GORECUNT writes:

Nice work!

# Jun 12, 2009 @ 9:58 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Guttersniper's avatar

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3. Guttersniper writes:

Nice article
I dont know about you guys but i feel like i almost always hear a korn song at strip clubs.. Mansons Personal Jesus too

# Jun 12, 2009 @ 10:06 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
wilco's avatar

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4. wilco writes:

yeah hahaahahahahaahahah
cool sh**

# Jun 12, 2009 @ 11:07 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
5. RTB writes:

Denmarks and swedens flags are so different...how do you fahq that up, especially when im sure crue s been there before...how embarasing...havent been in a strip club in 12 years wouldnt know where to start on that
^OZ whats the UK reaction of c renaldo going to r madrid?.....cheers

# Jun 12, 2009 @ 11:24 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
M703's avatar

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6. M703 writes:

Brilliant article. I'd throw White Zombie's "Blood, Milk And Sky" + Rob Zombie's "p***y Liquor" there as some of the best Strip Club tunes :)
RTB, Vince's not exactly the kind of guy who'd know about country flags I'd imagine. He never really even went to school, according to their book "The Dirt"

# Jun 12, 2009 @ 12:13 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Blindgreed1's avatar

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7. Blindgreed1 writes:

Funky Cold Medina.

# Jun 12, 2009 @ 2:33 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
That_One_Guy's avatar

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8. That_One_Guy writes:

lol.

# Jun 12, 2009 @ 3:47 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
9. AzAvalon writes:

My Favs to dance to:
5 Have a drink on me (in the St Pauli Girl costume)
4 High way to Hell (in the nun costume)
3 La Grange (in the Dallas Cowboy cheerleader costume)
2 Dr Feelgood (in the nurse costume)
1 Panama! (because it sounds like my stage name...sorta)

pics on myspace ;p

# Jun 14, 2009 @ 10:44 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
weasel321's avatar

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10. weasel321 writes:

BlindGreed1 - NICE!!

# Jun 15, 2009 @ 8:10 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Rychemn's avatar

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11. Rychemn writes:

blg 9, that's good s**t, but for myself, if I'm at a strip club and they start playing anything by Winger, I'm out the door!!!!!!!! why do you think Beavis and Butthead have been making fun at Stewart for all these years?...............cus Winger......sux!!!!!!!

# Jun 15, 2009 @ 8:15 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
That_One_Guy's avatar

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12. That_One_Guy writes:

My song to dance to has always been ''Baby Got Back''...

# Jun 15, 2009 @ 11:28 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Pursuit_Of_Vikings's avatar

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13. Pursuit_Of_Vikings writes:

Uhh...why do I not see "f***ed With a Knife"?

# Jun 16, 2009 @ 1:54 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
GORECUNT's avatar

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14. GORECUNT writes:

Vikings, in that case, we need "Stripped, Raped, and Strangled"

# Jun 16, 2009 @ 10:13 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
15. That one guy writes:

lol.

# Jun 16, 2009 @ 9:10 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
metalheaddrummer101's avatar

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16. metalheaddrummer101 writes:

Persuit of Vikings-OR Entrails Ripped from a Virgin's Cvnt?

# Jun 16, 2009 @ 9:14 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Jenny's avatar

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17. Jenny writes:

To name a few, here are some songs I'd strip to (in no particular order):

"Red Light Fever"-Venom
"Hopkins (The Witchfinder General)" -Cathedral
"The Fog" -Blitzkid
"Mother" -Danzig
"Twist Of Cain" -Danzig
"Whole Lotta Rosie" -AC/DC
"Nothin' On (But the Radio)" -Pantera
"Hard Ride" -Pantera
"Goddamn Electric" -Pantera
"Tell Me If You Want It" -Pantera
"Nightrain"-Guns N' Roses
"Rocket Queen"-Guns N' Roses
"Anything Goes" -Guns N' Roses

Teh heh.

# Jun 16, 2009 @ 10:40 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Rychemn's avatar

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18. Rychemn writes:

Dammit Jenny, you forgot "I used to love her" by Guns and Roses, LOL!!!!

# Jun 17, 2009 @ 1:30 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
GORECUNT's avatar

Member

19. GORECUNT writes:

You know, Satyricon makes music that goes well with strippers. Just the rhythm and melody seems like something I'd throw bills at some b**** on a pole to.

# Jun 17, 2009 @ 4:09 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Crucify_The_Whore's avatar

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20. Crucify_The_Whore writes:

Should include, Cannibal Corpse - "I c** Blood"

# Jun 17, 2009 @ 4:22 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Blindgreed1's avatar

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21. Blindgreed1 writes:

*Throws a blanket around Jenny* You're only 16! Stay off that pole and keep your clothes on young lady!

# Jun 17, 2009 @ 6:29 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
n0thinghead's avatar

Podcaster/Writer

22. n0thinghead writes:

how about NIN - "closer"? HELLO?!?!?! "...i wanna f*** you like an animal! i wanna feel you from the inside!" i mean, c'mon!

# Jun 18, 2009 @ 8:44 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Jenny's avatar

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23. Jenny writes:

Blindgreed1: Lol. Correction-I'm 17 now, remember? Anyways, I would never never do that, except for my spouse, thank you very much :D

Rychemn: Lol. I wouldn't strip to that even if you paid me. Haahahaa! :)~

# Jun 18, 2009 @ 2:49 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Blindgreed1's avatar

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24. Blindgreed1 writes:

Jenny: MY BAD!!! Still, it's good to know that would be a private show.

# Jun 18, 2009 @ 3:02 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Rychemn's avatar

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25. Rychemn writes:

probably not Jenny.........but guys seem to like this song, I played it once at a bar and the waitress was staring at me with daggers!!!LOL!!!!

# Jun 19, 2009 @ 4:05 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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