Rock of Love Tour Bus Reunion Recap: The return of Ashley.
Band Photo: Poison (?)
Riki Rachtman again hosted the Rock of Love tour reunion. After introducing each of the girls (even the ones eliminated after one episode) he says, “and Big John”, as if was the opening credits of Cheers with “and George Wendt as Norm”. After introducing Bret, Riki gives him a big hug and whispers, “Thanks for the gig man”.
Onto the girls…first up they bring up Constantina, a belly dancer who took a vow of celibacy before going on the show. Now? She is married, having lots of sex, and living in Nashville. Apparently this show can mess up a person worse than drugs. Next Marcia and Gia grab seats on the couch. Marcia recaps the gallons of tequila consumed (to which Bret adds, “Awesome”), then Gia confesses that she has quit drinking and has been sober for two months (to which Bret adds, “Awesome”).
When Ashley is brought to the stage they show highlights of her from the show. This is the first time I’ve laughed (three times) in weeks at this show. Ashley doesn’t disappoint during the interview either. When asked if she is into girls she answers, “Chicks, Guys, and Brittanya!” Brittanya smiles. The audience continues to clap; although, I got the impression they were tricked into thinking this was going to be Ricki Lake hosting, not Riki Rachtman. Brittany, the porn star, comes up next, but before she can tell her story Natasha is yelling from the audience. Then, Brittanya says something apparently “challenging”, causing Natasha to rise and charge the stage, knocking over one girl and having to be restrained by security. JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
Mindy, one of the final two, comes up and confesses love for Bret. With tears running down her face, Big John nods approvingly. We have no idea what this means. Prior to Taya (the winner) coming on stage Ashley and Farrah turn their backs to the stage (fourth laugh). Predictably, Bret and Taya are going to “give it time” before committing to anything.
As they pan to the studio audience for their final reaction Riki approaches Bret and whispers, “If you do this again, can I be the host? Please man, I need this.”
David S. Grant is the author of Corporate Porn, a novel published through Silverthought Press. His rock and drug fueled double novel Bleach|Blackout, novel The Last Breakfast, and short story collection Emotionless Souls are now available. For more information on David’s writing go to www.davidsgrant.com.
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