Rock of Love Tour Bus Episode 9 Recap: The Blondes Are Eliminated.
Band Photo: Poison (?)
The episode starts with the girls disappointed. First, to see that Taya was not eliminated, and secondly they find out they are headed to St Augustine, Florida. From the strip of Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood, California to St. Augustine, Florida: The Bret Michaels story.
When they arrive there are a couple of surprises waiting. Heather and Ambre, two “friends” from previous seasons of Rock of Love, are waiting to interview both the girls and their ex-boyfriends. Immediately we see James, Ashley’s “ex”. He has a tattoo of her name and looks like he has done at least ten years, hard time. I like him immediately. This is also our first look at Brittanya’s ex-boyfriend who is known as Royal T. All really good stuff and the interviews haven’t even started. Oh, and no one shows up for Big Beverly. This causes tears to roll down Big Beverly’s face throughout the show. The only time they subside is when she’s pouring a drink. She is crying for about half the show.
During the interviews, the girls are getting nervous and are having second thoughts. Each chooses Big John to confide their darkest secrets they worry are going to shortly be exposed. Big John looks visibly frustrated with the whole situation. At some point you have to think he will grab Bret and begin shaking him, screaming “What the fuck! What the fuck!”
The interviews reveal the following: Big Beverly is alone and has no one…Royal T. and Brittanya have hooked up, but not in the last year. Heather begins accusing them of not being honest. Brittanya approaches Heather and starts throwing punches until Big John (still looking pissed off) breaks it up. Brittanya ends the session by spitting on Heather. Royal T. tells everyone to fuck off as he leaves the room…Right before her interrogation Ashley threatens to leave the show and says, “Uh, I think I’m a lesbian”, but Big John convinces her to stay. We learn Ashley continues to live with James and apparently they still have sex together. James constantly uses the phrase, “No one pulls ---“, but the last word is censored by VH1. I honestly have no idea what is being pulled. This could be slang he picked up when doing time…Listening to Mindy and her ex-boyfriend is boring. As Royal T. tells her ex, “You’re a stiff, you still fuck her, just say it.” At this point Royal T. was really growing on me…Jamie’s “friend” believes she is a groupie and when asked she admits she would not be interested in Bret if he wasn’t in a band. No shit…During the interview with Taya and her ex-boyfriend Jaz we learn that he is a complete psycho in every aspect of the definition. At one point it looked like he was going to murder everyone in the room and flee to someplace larger than St. Augustine, Florida.
Mindy is picked first during elimination, making her the new front runner. Taya and Jamie follow, receiving their passes to safety. When Big Beverly is asked to step down Bret asks if she can get past the drinking, screaming, and massive drama. “Yes”, she says and is allowed to stay. Ashley sums up what all are thinking, “Why is he keeping the line backer?” Next up is Brittanya, who ends up being eliminated. Bret explains that he just can’t introduce a girl to his Grandma that spits on others. Ashley is then asked to come down, look Bret in the eye, and tell him she still wants to be with him. She is unable to lie to him and she goes home with James, or drives James back to the prison yard. I’m not entirely clear on this one. After all the memorable catty comments from Ashley, she simply flips her hair, and says “Thanks”.
David S. Grant is the author of Corporate Porn, a novel published through Silverthought Press. His rock and drug fueled double novel Bleach|Blackout, novel The Last Breakfast, and short story collection Emotionless Souls are now available. For more information on David’s writing go to http://www.davidsgrant.com.
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