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KISS Bassist Gene Simmons Announces Presidential Candidacy

Gene Simmons, the iconic bassist and vocalist of American rock legends KISS, has announced his intention to run for President of the United States Of America in 2020. Running as an independent candidate under the slogan, "I was made for running you," the sixty eight year old musician is pledging greater focus on trade, the arts and a "unique" fiscal system, known as "Rockanomics."

"America is at a crucial point in history," Simmons stated at a press conference in Detroit, "I still believe it's fine not to have a career politician in charge, they don't know jack about the common man, however the image of America needs improving significantly. We need to show the world what kind of fun loving people we are, as well as proving our intelligence and business sense to the rest of the world. I believe I'm the man to do that, having demonstrated my business acumen, literary prowess and rock and roll attitude since the seventies... America, I was made for running you!"

Not much else is known about his policies right now but one issue already being discussed is whether or not Simmons will be eligible to run, as he was born in Israel. This is something also often brought up during the political career of actor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who served to terms as governor of California. Under the proposed, "Demolition Man" legislature though, foreign born American citizens of great upstanding would be able to be elected President of the United States.

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3 Comments on "Gene Simmons Announces Presidential Candidacy"

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1. coldiem writes:

LOL.

# Apr 1, 2018 @ 4:07 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
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2. Joe Lewellen writes:

April Fools

# Apr 1, 2018 @ 9:09 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
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3. albert from hell--animal fak like beast nurse in cunt writes:

dee dee sinder for president of usa-

# Apr 2, 2018 @ 7:37 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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