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Pit Stories: The Devil And The Onstage Dirty Deed

Tuesday again already? That means we've got more hilarious Pit Stories for you culled straight from the minds of the musicians themselves!

In recent weeks we've seen a show get tanked by a pretty smile and a very interesting way of expressing anger during a battle of the bands being judged by nuns.

Today we've got two stories from Annamaria Pinna and Dave Sussman of the New York based rock / gypsy metal Band Vajra. Both got a lot more than they bargained for at shows - but one of these endings is more enjoyable than the other!

First up is Annamaria, offering a story of a very unexpected encounter while waiting for the bathroom:

This actually just happened on our To The Ends Of The Earth tour. We were in Ohio. We had just played and I was waiting for the bathroom. I didn’t have my phone on me because it was charging so I basically looked around trying to waste time. The walls became so very interesting at that point.

I must have been waiting 5 minutes when all of a sudden, a woman sitting at the booth next to me leaps up, points in my direction and says “Either she goes, or I go!” And I looked at her intrigued by the drama unfolding before my eyes. It was like a juicy soap opera taking place right before my eyes. I looked behind me to see who she must have been referring to, but there was no one else there. The thought crossed my mind; was she talking about me? At that point, she glares at me and said “She’s the devil! Look at her, she’s evil!” So, naturally, I started laughing, which of course, freaked her out even more.

Her husband then jumps up, approaches me, apologizes and says she is really drunk. The whole situation amused me, so I smiled, looked at her, and told her husband not to worry and that this is clearly her issue. As I continued to smile and look at her, she continued to unravel and freak out more. I thought to myself that this experience paralleled a few chapters in The Master and Margarita.

Not sure why she thought I was the Devil, but I take it as a compliment. Bahahahhaha!

Dave meanwhile had this story to share about really "performing" well on stage:

This is an interesting story but it involves one of my previous bands. A very close friend and ex-lover of mine named Velocity Chyaldd is a regular performer at a hot A-List nightclub in NYC which hosts live variety shows every night. She and I were partners in an underground metal/punk/rock band together for many years called Vulgaras, and we decided to play a hard rock version of "You're No Good" by Linda Ronstadt at the club.

We got to the club that night, received our set time, and got ready. An easy chair was placed front and center stage and her microphone was put in the chair. I stripped down to my combat boots and I strapped on my Les Paul. Velocity was in a barely-there negligee with total access, and she sat at the edge of the chair in front of me and started to get me ready in view of the smiling and winking brass band in the wings of the stage… if you know what I mean.

One minute to curtain - we were in position. I definitely had butterflies (it was a packed house) but I had a a few drinks so I was mellow. The curtain opened, Velocity picked up the mic and started to sing and I played electric guitar in nothing but a pair of combat boots. On that last "you're no good" of the first chorus, I entered her from behind, as I played the power chords and she sang, and we rolled on and did it standing up, me from behind, and her leaning over the side of the easy chair and singing elbows down into the mic, and we finished the song, guitar solo and all. As I listened to her booming these lyrics to a packed crowd at The Box, I watched the people watching and listening to us. Some didn't realize what was happening, some did, and a college bro in the front row said "Holy shit, are they really doing that?!" (Yeah bro, we really were doing that.)

Having live sex onstage in front of a live audience is strange and wonderful. Velocity and I still laugh about it (we did this about 9 or 10 years ago) and she still performs at the same club semi-regularly. We had fully intended to do this act many more times, but for some reason the club was shut down for a couple of weeks shortly after our act for hosting "lewd" live acts onstage, as was reported on Page Six. The act was something that we just couldn't repeat, as it was just that crazy.

You can follow the latest on Vajra at Facebook here, and below is a video for "The Mirror," the first single off the group's upcoming "Irkalla" EP release.

xFiruath's avatar

Ty Arthur splits his time between writing dark fiction, spreading the word about underground metal bands, and bringing you the latest gaming news. His sci-fi, grimdark fantasy, and horror novels can be found at Amazon.

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