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Pit Stories: Scrotum To Scrotum Stapling Action

We're doing two Pit Stories today because some incompetent moron by the name of xFiruath couldn't get his shit together and post one up when it was supposed to go live yesterday.

This is part two of those stories, and oh guys, oh, oh guys, have we got a tale for you today. It's got everything: bat wing action, stapled scrotums, and a whole different, hairy kind of moshing than you'd ever imagine to see.

Canadian group Slagduster offered up the following baffling description of a show that will never, ever be forgotten by anyone who attended:

So, a few years back we were touring with Expain, and they brought themselves a camera along to record any ridiculous footage they could capture. After a show in Edmonton, they convinced at least two guys to staple gun their scrotums not only to bar stools and tables, but also apexing on each other’s legs and finally scrotum to scrotum stapling action. Side note, possibly inspired by the band intermission blood-soaked gorelesque performers.

Flash forward one year, we return to the same venue with Expain again. Our between song banter often gets out of hand, and obviously it was hard not to bring up the previous year’s events… long story short, during the next song, a group of guys had been unintentionally persuaded to pull out their man bags in a circle scrotum pulling mosh pit. We’re talking a half dozen burly grown males minimum, stretching their bat wings through their jean holes at each other. All the while headbanging like their lives depended on it. Cheers, Edmonton.

Slagduster's new album "Deadweight" is coming out on May 5th, 2017 - check out two tracks from the album below, and follow the latest on the 'duster at Facebook here.

xFiruath's avatar

Ty Arthur splits his time between writing dark fiction, spreading the word about underground metal bands, and bringing you the latest gaming news. His sci-fi, grimdark fantasy, and horror novels can be found at Amazon.

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3 Comments on "Pit Stories: Scrotum To Scrotum Stapling"

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Drum_Junkie's avatar


1. Drum_Junkie writes:

I just don't think I could get that drunk. I know some people refer to their balls as 'their junk', but I wouldn't even think of subjecting my balls to such abuse, much less to let other drunken idiots 'manhandle' them.

To each their own, I guess...

# Apr 27, 2017 @ 10:51 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
xFiruath's avatar

Former Contributor

2. xFiruath writes:

Hah, yeah, can't imagine pulling anything out of my pants at most of the bars here where a metal show would play, let alone letting it all hang free along with some other drunk dudes in the pit.

Probably the drunkest nude-involved story I've got was years and years ago and wasn't at a show, but rather while playing D&D (yup, that's the kind of nerds we are). We had gotten pretty hammered during a session and one player kept complaining about how stingy I was handing out experience.

I told him if he took a body shot out of my a$$ I'd let his character level up. We were drunk enough that it went from a funny thing to say to "let's do this" and I had my pants down and a$$ in the air while he's pouring the whiskey into a shot glass. Thankfully, our wives put a stop to the whole thing :)

# Apr 27, 2017 @ 2:18 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
hellrat's avatar


3. hellrat writes:

^whoa, hit the fvckin lights bro! WAY too many details dude

As for the flapping scrote stapling and so forth, if you keep in mind that theyre frikken canucks, it all makes perfect sense :)

"hell ya I like Canadians, you guys are like our retarded little cousins!"

# Apr 27, 2017 @ 4:18 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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