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Pit Stories: The Glorious White Whale Amongst Distraught Bathers

Ready for a new round of Pit Stories?

This week we've got a tale of a lost and very drunk roadie and a band scrambling to find their wayward companion, who has been up to no good while in an altered state.

Dre Versailles, vocalist of Gatineau, Québec-based band Inire, tells the Hangover-sequel worthy story like this:

Some names of people and places have been changed. The idiocy remains unaltered.

A friend of ours in London graciously offered us his pad while he was out of town so we could crash the night after the show. His door has multiple locks and he gave me specific instructions to lock up when we left in the morning because doing it improperly could result in him being locked out. I don’t need to tell you, this is important.

We partied a bit after the show, responsibly for the most part but our friend and roadie “Mustachio” (yes, that’s what I’m calling him) decided he was due for a solid one. It wasn’t long before we lost sight of him. Nor was it long before the police came poking around about a disturbance of some sort. We told them we knew nothing (which was technically true but also false in the sense that we all had a prime suspect in mind… name starts with “M”). Thankfully they ended up leaving empty handed (and probably a little confused).

It’s only the next day that we were able to piece together some of our roadie’s early morning exploits. Though much still remains a mystery (even to him), it seems that among other hijinks he enjoyed a swim in the compound’s pool, in his birthday suit no less, a glorious white whale among distraught morning bathers. Then he got lost on the way back and became convinced we had abandoned him to fend for himself, far from home. We eventually found him in a stranger’s apartment on the complete other side of the compound, the lady there had apparently invited him for tea (although I suspect he had invited himself in). He was enjoying himself apparently because he refused to leave (to the dismay of his most gracious host).

Upon finally gathering our wayward roadie (hours late) I put great effort into underlining for him the importance of not locking the door… which of course he promptly did anyway! The result of course is that Jonny B. (our guitarist at the time) and I had to figure out a way to break in to the place, in broad daylight. It involved some tricky gymnastics but we managed it. I re-entered the apartment, made sure our friend wouldn’t be locked out of his home upon his return and the day was saved… sort of. I guess.

Be forewarned my friends: Mustachio still roadies for us to this day.

The Canadian groove-heavy band released new album "Cauchemar" last week, which can be picked up at Bandcamp or streamed below.

xFiruath's avatar

Ty Arthur splits his time between writing dark fiction, spreading the word about underground metal bands, and bringing you the latest gaming news. His sci-fi, grimdark fantasy, and horror novels can be found at Amazon.

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