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Pit Stories: Things Get Hairy With Some Serious Miscommunication

After the insanity of shroom trips and flaming statues at Crom Fest and a look at all the things that can go wrong at a 1st show, Pit Stories returns this week with something completely different.

We asked Michael Arcane and Stack Manley from 100% true hair metal band Turbo Shokk for his best pit story, and that's when things got a little hairy and lost in translation.

Check out the full exchange below, which is undoubtedly one of the most odd in our never-ending quest for the most insane mosh pit stories from metal history.

Metal Underground (MU): So, onto pits.

Stack Manley: Ok...

MU: Right. Some people are into it, some aren't. One thing that's for sure is some crazy things happen in there.

Stack: I guess, man...not really my thing...

MU: That's surprising to me. Why aren't you a fan of pits?

Stack: I don't know man; I mean why would you go with the pit? I been around, let me tell you. All across this great nation I've sampled that sweet stuff. Out on the road it’s like Sizzler, man...or sometimes Golden Corral...but anyway we're talking all you can eat and I’m never full. A chick's body is a mysterious thing - sure, there are hidden pleasures - but I can't say any of them are in the pits. I don't know, maybe it's politically incorrect to say in this day and age but I just don't see how this is a thing.

MU: ...Oh...ok, and what about at concerts...those pits?

Stack: Look I don't see what difference it makes. What's your deal man? Backstage, in a car, whatever! I'm not trying to get a pit job...a pittee...pital...whatever you weirdos call it.

MU: Stack, please, I'm afraid there's been some miscommunication. I want to know about mosh pits.

Stack: Oh...

MU: Yes.

Arcane: As far as I'm concerned, arm pits are hot. I like it all, man. I like it all...

It seemed pointless to go on from there, so that's Turbo Shokk's official entry in our ongoing collection of Pit Stories! Turbo Shokk's new album "Get Radical" will drop December 2nd, and below you can check out opening track "Put The Hammer Down."

xFiruath's avatar

Ty Arthur splits his time between writing dark fiction, spreading the word about underground metal bands, and bringing you the latest gaming news. His sci-fi, grimdark fantasy, and horror novels can be found at Amazon.

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