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Pit Stories: What Goes Around Comes Around For Mr. TotallyFucked

The time for another Tuesday Pit Story has officially arrived! This week's tale comes courtesy of vocalist Michael Ursini from Canadian rock group Uforia. Ursini shares the following story about dealing with an overly drunk dude (affectionately named Mr. TotallyFucked) during a live set:

Uforia’s last show was at the Cock & Pheasant in Streetsville Mississauga, a pub we’re very familiar with and have played many times. This time there was an exceptionally rowdy Hip fan. Of course we’re playing on the night of the big Tragically Hip concert and this guy is on all sorts of drugs and alcohol. We knew we were in for some kind of adventure with this dude offering us all kinds of intoxication (we did not accept any).

Like most nights at C&P the turnout is pretty much just our fans, no new faces except for Mr. TotallyFucked and his caretakers. Half way through our first song this guy is running across the dance floor knocking people over and exposing himself while screaming at the top of his lungs. Man boobs and butt-crack all over the place. It was all fun until he got up close to me and started bumping into my microphone stand. Twice he bumped the mic into my teeth. It really fucking hurt but I kept my composure and continued the song. After the third time I leaned over during a vocal break and asked him to stop with a serious, now I’m getting pissed, face. He tells me to fuck off and laughs in my face.

At this point I’m in revenge mode but still keeping a smile and putting on a good show for the fans. This dude continued his shenanigans and was getting sloppier by the minute. I waited for the perfect moment, where ‘buddy’ was once again fucking with my mic stand, and just rammed the back of the boom stand into his face. He fell on the floor with his bare ass out and was too fucked to get up. Good thing his friends didn’t notice and just assumed he fell because he was wasted like all the other times. I didn’t hit him hard, just enough to knock him off his already unbalanced stature. His friends carried him out and that was the end of super fucked up guy. We laughed about it for the rest of the night and had a great show.

Uforia released the "Fight or Flight" EP back in July and will next perform live in the Toronto area on October 21st at Horseshoe Tavern and November 12th at Hard Luck Bar. Check out a video clip for the EP's title track below.

xFiruath's avatar

Ty Arthur splits his time between writing dark fiction, spreading the word about underground metal bands, and bringing you the latest gaming news. His sci-fi, grimdark fantasy, and horror novels can be found at Amazon.

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1 Comment on "Pit Stories: What Goes Around Comes Around"

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1. ssdd_69 writes:

HA! Good for you.

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