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Just For Fun

Tim Lambesis And Two Others Escape From Jail

Authorities from North County Correctional Facility in Castaic, CA have put out an all-points-bulletin on Tim Lambesis and two other inmates, who were reported to have escaped last night.

Lambesis, who was currently two months into a nine-year sentence for commissioning a murder for hire, went missing after a routine head count. He and the two other inmates, Jesus Ramos and Enrique Martinez, went unaccounted for after dinner and recreation yard time.

The two correctional officers who did the bunk check in the wing where the detainees were housed noticed that the metal toilet had been removed and used to break out the narrow window in Lambesis' unit. How the other two inmates escaped remains unclear at this time.

Authorities have set up road blocks on I-5 and 1-805 leading to the Mexican Border near the San Ysidro and San Diego crossings, where the trio may possibly be going. "Ramos and Martinez both have family in the Ensenada area just south of the border and various ties with the Mexican underworld," stated North County prison official John Bennett. "We have to make sure that we cover all bases in apprehending these men."

Police have also questioned members of Lambesis' heavy metal band As I Lay Dying, his ex-wife Meggan Murphy Lambesis and his family to see if possible contact has been made to them from the fugitive. Police also caution that the fugitives may be armed and dangerous. Further details will be provided when they become known.


Tim Lambesis in prison photo from March 2014


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47 Comments on "Tim Lambesis Escapes From Jail"

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Blindgreed1's avatar

Member

1. Blindgreed1 writes:

I hope he makes it to the border. There are a lot of talented musicians in Mexico that he could write and perform with and live out his life away from his b!thch arse ex-wife. Run Tim Run!!! \m/\m/

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 11:33 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
2. MU trollwire writes:

according to nbc news they just spotted tim ( allegedly) driving a white ford bronco down rockingham llane in brentwood ca.
no idea why
~tim MUTW

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 11:39 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
KREDD's avatar

Member

3. KREDD writes:

I heard they found a bloody glove he left behind in his cell.

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 11:40 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Drum_Junkie's avatar

Member

4. Drum_Junkie writes:

Just saw on ZNN where Armed Robbery charges will be added...

According to the report, he broke into a GNC store shortly before the doors opened and stole 80 pounds of protein shake mix (strawberry flavor) and $153 in cash. No one was harmed in the altercation.

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 11:45 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
5. dreamtreedown writes:

Definite April Fool's article

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 12:19 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
BrianMN's avatar

Member

6. BrianMN writes:

He DID NOT break out.
Jesus broke him out using his bar bending crucifixion powers.
Can’t anyone get the story right?
They were last seen crossing the border illegally into Mexico dressed like Thelma and Louise.

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 12:25 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
7. Heh writes:

Really good one April Joke :D

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 12:32 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Blindgreed1's avatar

Member

8. Blindgreed1 writes:

They made it to MEXICO \m/\m/

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 12:42 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
BrianMN's avatar

Member

9. BrianMN writes:

With six separate holes in Jesus I wonder how much money he was able to sneak across the border?

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 12:51 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
10. Gus from Phoenix writes:

Post 9, Tim paid chris virden 1,000k to dig an underground tunnel starting from that peanut gallery of a bar called the rock in tuscon az to about 100yds past the US/Mexico border, virden an out of work musician who's hard up for cash these days had no choice but to take the job despite his atheist logic and numbskull witt towards jesus christ.
Jay pest just this all up on his my space page.
sad

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 1:04 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
11. Zack757 writes:

HAHAHAH

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 1:36 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
12. alcapone writes:

I HEARD he is already far far away already

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 1:47 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
13. jonathan ponce writes:

This might be an April fools joke... I.called It first

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 1:50 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
hellrat's avatar

Member

14. hellrat writes:

LMAO @ "1000k"

ah gus, yer never gonna be a millionaire :)

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 1:54 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Blindgreed1's avatar

Member

15. Blindgreed1 writes:

@ Gus: I try not to judge you for all the filty c0ck you wash down at the homeless shelter, so how's about you don't judge me for makin a little extra cash. Capiche?

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 1:54 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
16. roadie 485 writes:

Damn man. You guys should just give this april fools sh** up. It hasn't been good in god knows how long...like, 7 or 8 years? This sh** is weak and obvious. I remember the good old days when bands would have to release statements to set the rumors straight about these articles! Haha! Damn I miss those!

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 1:56 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
17. Gus from Phoenix writes:

Hey, jay pest put it up, you gotta problem with that take it up with him, mean while heres what we collected for you, you can pick up the church plate at a pot of hobo stew and the phoenix greyhound track tonite at 630p, 1st trash can in front of the admission tent.
sorry that you're going through a tough time

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 2:02 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Blindgreed1's avatar

Member

18. Blindgreed1 writes:

Swing and a miss.

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 2:15 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
OverkillExposure's avatar

Writer

19. OverkillExposure writes:

#16, you'll have to turn the clock back then, because you're talking about the (mostly) pre-Facebook, pre-Twitter era for online news/gossip dissemination.

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 2:23 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
CROMCarl's avatar

Writer / Reviewer

20. CROMCarl writes:

Can't we all just get along? I mean there is a raving lunatic christian on the loose and he must be stopped!

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 2:23 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
BrianMN's avatar

Member

21. BrianMN writes:

Stopped, they must be.
On this, all depends.

Not likely though.
Even though Jesus has money bags stuffed up his butt the divine duo cannot be stopped.
Just ask one of the border guards who tried to frisk Jesus.
He jumped off his cross and gave the guy a flying drop kick.
It wasn’t pretty.

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 2:35 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Drum_Junkie's avatar

Member

22. Drum_Junkie writes:

I wouldn't be so concerned CROM. Word is, he just passed the Nogales checkpoint. He's Mexico's problem now... ;)

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 2:42 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
23. Gus from Phoenix writes:

You should know chris
#quitter

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 2:44 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Blindgreed1's avatar

Member

24. Blindgreed1 writes:

You should know Gus

#swallows

We done here Gus? I'm sure your whole "turd in the punchbowl" personality wins friends and influences people up in your neck of the woods, but around here it just makes you look like a jilted ex. It's really kind of pathetic, and claiming you posted something from Jay Pest's myspace (LOFL is myspace even still up and running) reeks of cowardice and contempt. We get it. You're mad because I pulled the plug on my project. You got something to say to me email it to me @ clyde13666@gmail. Dont clutter up the boards with your endless crying and whining.

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 3:02 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
25. Streetguru writes:

I'd imagine this is an april fools joke no?

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 3:07 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
26. jeff1234 writes:

this isn't even funny based on the grounds that he's not even in jail. he's been out on bail for months. get your facts straight for the dumb 'joke'.

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 3:11 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
27. ATrollWhoDoesn'tMatter writes:

Quick! Catch him! Before he spreads more of his sh**ty f***ing music!!!

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 6:28 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
28. Gus from Phoenix writes:

Chris you've been coming on this site for year's tugging nuts and ballwashing yet when you get a little dose of your own medicine you start yelping foul and huffin and puffin all bent out of shape, re read your own post on the other thread were you're quoted as " its called a sense of humor" scud, yet when you're the victim you're boo hooing about.
Im flattered you've designed an email to try and find out my identity but I aint a phag 1 and 2 you and I roam the same stomping grounds to this earth and believe it or not our paths have crossed a time or two, but rest assured when they cross again I'll definitely introduce myself as gus of the MU.
until then the game here is played both ways here, you dont like it take your ball ( or in your case your kilt and fake hair) and your half a century asz and go home.
a big dog like you say that you are barks but when hes barked backed it he bites back not tucks his tail between his legs and pisses about, so until next time suck on that.

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 6:48 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
29. Gus from Phoenix writes:

Btw you actually fell for that my space line...on this day of all days virden?
Maybe im giving you too much credit as any sense of competition whatsoever.
Hook line and sinker
im out

# Apr 1, 2014 @ 6:57 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
30. Ytse writes:

^HURR I WAS JUST PRETENDING TO BE RETARDED

# Apr 2, 2014 @ 12:41 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
31. Brandon Trahan writes:

What a stupid joke. He isn't even in jail.

# Apr 2, 2014 @ 10:22 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
32. tim's next ex writes:

run baby run

# Apr 2, 2014 @ 12:37 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
33. Juice writes:

You two sound like 10 year olds bantering back and forth like that, save that s**t for your own time. Don't know either one of you, but I'm rootin for Blind!!!

# Apr 2, 2014 @ 2:58 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
34. Gus&Blindgreedsgay writes:

Thank you Gus and Blindgreed you've made me realize how unpathetic and meaningful my life actually is, because no matter how sh**ty my life gets at least im not wasting time talking loads of sh** to someone else over a f***ing message board. Thank you!

# Apr 2, 2014 @ 4:26 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
35. Kip writes:

Read the caption "just for fun" lmao

# Apr 2, 2014 @ 6:11 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
36. Only4DaLolz writes:

At least the article uses names of 2 inmates who actually are residents of the California Prison system, who are very much "In Custody"!

# Apr 3, 2014 @ 12:39 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Blindgreed1's avatar

Member

37. Blindgreed1 writes:

I will be there for the metal alliance tour. If you have any hair on your balls Gus you'll be there. Be a man and show, otherwise keep blowing homeless men at the shelter. BTW, Hi Brad. LOL.

# Apr 3, 2014 @ 2:47 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
38. jesserunyon writes:

thats a nice a$$ gym for prison......

# Apr 3, 2014 @ 10:16 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
39. Tattswilson writes:

i think its a Killer and should be behild bars not in Mexico making music Lol... eitherway i'm in the uk and have nothing to worry about haha

peace out from over the pond :D

# Apr 3, 2014 @ 11:47 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
40. TIM mutw writes:

exactly 35, looks like everyone knew that on here except blindgreed.
til next year guys \m/

# Apr 3, 2014 @ 12:29 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
41. Anonymous writes:

God bless you brianMN. Your blasphemy is sad.

# Apr 3, 2014 @ 6:21 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
hellrat's avatar

Member

42. hellrat writes:

^and your idolatry is pitiful :)

# Apr 3, 2014 @ 8:58 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
BrianMN's avatar

Member

43. BrianMN writes:

@Anonymous...what is blasphemous about Jesus delivering a flying drop kick?
That isn't blasphemy, that's awesome.
Especially when his dress flies up in mid air to reveal a pair of pink, ruffly satin panties.
And really, who hasn't shoved money up their butt on their way to Mexico? Did you ever stop to think Jesus forgot his teleportation charger back in Heaven?
You know, try and think of someone besides yourself for once. Jesus and Tim really need this time to bond. From what I've heard Jesus gives the best two handed, hand jobs in the world. You wouldn't believe how tight those 2000 year old zombie holes are in his hands. Tim screams every time. I'm so going to hell....oh wait....I already live there.

# Apr 3, 2014 @ 9:21 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
44. Trevolta writes:

He's not in jail, he's on house arrest

# Apr 3, 2014 @ 10:33 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
R10's avatar

Member

45. R10 writes:

Is this dude in solitary? With that hairdo, he's doing someones laundry and buying protection. Bogus photo. Lol

# Apr 3, 2014 @ 11:53 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
46. ben persich writes:

this was an april fools day joke. he is out on bail

# Apr 4, 2014 @ 2:41 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
47. selo writes:

i love

# Apr 23, 2014 @ 2:36 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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