"some music was meant to stay underground..."

Metal Underground.com Forum

Our newly launched forum is a place to freely discuss topics that are not directly in the news. Posting messages in the forum requires a free Metalunderground.com membership. You can still discuss news articles by posting comments on the respective articles (with or without a login).

Please view the forum rules before posting. Spamming, trolling or personal attacks may result in deletion of messages, loss of membership privledges, and/or a permanent ban.

Your permissions: while not logged in as a member, you may only read the forums. (Log in/Sign Up)

Dr. Greed is in the office

Posted in: Forum Home >> General Discussion >> Dr. Greed is in the office

Displaying posts 51 - 75 of 342 1 2 3 4 5 ... 13 14 Last
Displaying posts 51 - 75 of 342 1 2 3 4 5 ... 13 14 Last
Jun 14, 2011 4:20 PM ET #51 (permalink)

Nice anal anology DB! You've been hangin around me too much buddy. :-) Just dropping in to ensure there isn't any serious issues to address in my absence. Seems as though all is well for now.

RTB: Dealt with a psycho bitch before. Passed her around like a bong in a frat house with all of my buddies. Here's the thing. When you're boys tap that, have em take a poloroid instant camera with em and get a pic of her toothbrush stickin out of their asses. This is easily done in the bathroom when you go to clean up, just stash the poloroid in there before you hit that shit and get a shot off the bathroom mirror so that she recognizes everything in the room and knows it not to be faked. When everything comes to a head with her, send her the pics! I guarantee you'll never hear from her again, but just in case make a photo copy collage to keep for insurance.

Jun 14, 2011 4:20 PM ET #52 (permalink)

Till next time my friends and remember... sometimes we have to fist ourselves to find the person on the inside.

Jun 14, 2011 4:25 PM ET #53 (permalink)

When it comes to rape, my philosophy is this:


(See colon, enter colon, pound pound pound!)

Jun 14, 2011 6:53 PM ET #54 (permalink)

deathbringer, lol...clever

Blindgreed, oh my god...THAT IS AN AWESOME IDEA!!! Too bad I already made the contract which includes no longer contacting me for giving up my laptop (yes I miss my laptop!)

Hammerheart...you just made my new facebook status with that post.

Jun 15, 2011 2:20 PM ET #55 (permalink)
ZMA's avatar


I know n0thing said the tongue in the butt thread was the best thread but I disagree. This is the best thread on this site lol.

Jun 15, 2011 4:23 PM ET #56 (permalink)

Keep the psycho bitch treatment in the back of your mind fellas. It'll come in handy again some day I'm sure. I forgot to mention, make sure the photo copy collage is in living color. ;-)

Jun 15, 2011 5:59 PM ET #57 (permalink)

idk zman, but it is a close race tho lmao

in living color... lmfao

Jun 16, 2011 12:39 AM ET #58 (permalink)
RTB's avatar


roger that DR

Jun 17, 2011 2:13 AM ET #59 (permalink)

Haha, glad I could help. I wish I could take credit for that, but it came from Devin Townsend.

Jun 22, 2011 1:51 PM ET #60 (permalink)

Thought I'd bump this awesome thread to see if it takes off again.

I'll also leave a Dev quote I heard at one of SYL's shows...
"What's black and blue and hates sex...... The guy tied up in the trunk of my car!"

I've been lucky enough to avoid the psycho bitch treatment, but a good friend of mine had a pretty bad one.
He moved 3 hrs away and she would still make weekly trips to his apartment and place of work. She got thrown in jail for trespassing twice (running the security roadblock at his work). She once broke into his apartment and trashed the place, tied up his then girlfriend, stole his dish strainer (dish strainer? WTF), and left his GF there until he got home. There's more, but it's been awhile and I forget some of the other details. Those are just some of the highlights.
.... ahhhhh young love.

Jun 22, 2011 6:44 PM ET #61 (permalink)
ZMA's avatar


HAHA!! ^ damn that sucks for your friend Drum. If that shit happened to me I'd drive back to that bitches place with a wiffle ball bat, break down the door when she's sleeping and smack the shit outta her. Why a wiffle ball bat? Because it won't kill her (don't feel like havin' a large amount of jail time) and if you get the thinner wiffle ball bats that shit stings when you get hit with it. Teach her a god damn lesson, comin' up in my house, tyin' my girl to a chair.
Bitches be crazy yo!!

Of course I'm not the doctor. Dr. Blindgreed needs to put his say into this.

Jun 22, 2011 6:47 PM ET #62 (permalink)

Junkie, holy fuck.

Jun 23, 2011 10:22 AM ET #63 (permalink)

damn DJ, ur friend's got some game and great dick to have that crazy of a psycho bitch on his ass AND a gf lmao

Jun 24, 2011 3:10 PM ET #64 (permalink)

I think it's pretty safe to say that DJ's friend broke the cardinal rule and burried that fucker to the base. Always, I repeat ALWAYS hold back that last inch until you know for certain that this is the one.

Jun 24, 2011 3:44 PM ET #65 (permalink)

Dr. Greed is goddamn right on that point.

Jun 24, 2011 4:47 PM ET #66 (permalink)

what if a person's a poor white (or asian mad) and an inch is all he's got?

Jun 24, 2011 4:58 PM ET #67 (permalink)

More excellent advice from the good doctor! GC - in your case, I presume you should save the last 3"?

NH: If he's poor, white, and a 1"man, then he's not likely to get a psycho bitch in the first place - unless he is a very cunning linguist.

I've been told 3" is enough for most women.... others don't like it that wide.

Jun 24, 2011 5:02 PM ET #68 (permalink)

Then he'd better know how to suck that clit like a lesbian, or be okay with an open relationship. Any woman that tells you size doesn't matter is lying to your face.

Jun 24, 2011 5:13 PM ET #69 (permalink)

DJ: I think you're gonna be just fine with your 3 inches. Lol.

Also a word of advice to all of you young bucks. I've picked up more chicks by cracking wise about how small my crank is as opposed to how big it is. Some of my favorite lines over the years are: "Yeah... I'm hung like a buck field mouse" or "Thats one thing about my crank... It may not be very big around, but it SURE is short". This way when you drop trow in front of her and she see's you're packing it's a pleasant surprize instead of another let down. Believe me... She's had her share of let downs by the time you get to her. LMFAO!

Jun 24, 2011 5:25 PM ET #70 (permalink)

Thanks BG1. That 3 inches has helped keep my wife happy for nearly 13 years of marriage.

In my limited experience, the width is equally important as the length - if not more so. (an articulate tongue is a welcome addition) If you're going to plug a hole, do you use a pencil or a cork?

Jun 24, 2011 5:52 PM ET #71 (permalink)

DJ: 13 years is damn good in this day and age. Congrats buddy. Sounds like you got a keeper!!! You're startin to sound like my buddy godlike though. He says his crank isn't very long, "but it's about as big around as a can of corn". I told my ex-grilfriend about that and she went flush. XD

Edit: Godlike actually met her too.

(This post was last edited on June 24, 2011 at 5:55 PM ET.)

Jun 24, 2011 7:43 PM ET #72 (permalink)

^ "but it's about as big around as a can of corn"... HAHA! I think I'll use that.

Thanks BG1. She's definitely a keeper. What can I say, I've been blessed.

Jun 25, 2011 4:41 AM ET #73 (permalink)

so, godlike could possibly FUCK GIANTS?

Jun 25, 2011 10:53 AM ET #74 (permalink)

Why not. He fucks pretty much everything else. LOL

"That boy get's more ass than a toilet seat." Bonus metal points for the winner of that movie quote.

Jun 27, 2011 5:52 PM ET #75 (permalink)

I know Eminem used it in "Shake That", but for the life of me I can't put my finger on what movie. Fucker.

Reply to Discussion or Return to General Discussion forum