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"...I'd put my tongue in her butt"

Posted in: Forum Home >> General Discussion >> "...I'd put my tongue in her butt"

Displaying posts 276 - 300 of 436 1 2 ... 10 11 12 13 14 ... 17 18 Last
Displaying posts 276 - 300 of 436 1 2 ... 10 11 12 13 14 ... 17 18 Last
Aug 10, 2011 12:00 PM ET #276 (permalink)

Cristina Scabbia? How could I have forgotten about her?? I'd swirl her fartbox any day of the week.

Aug 10, 2011 7:09 PM ET #277 (permalink)

Damn, my bad BG, had to re-read...But yeah, call me Spiderman the way Cristina Scabbia makes me sling my web....

Aug 16, 2011 7:46 PM ET #278 (permalink)

Here goes, couple days ago a casual bro of mine invites me over for brews , his wife and son where visiting the outlaws and he invites me over with 2 gals from his mixed ball team. 4 hours of hottub and brews and i look its 230am he vanishes, hoodinis on me just like that. Now ive got 2 liquored up gals ( i tell myself i should maybe go home also, that thought quickly goes away as i see the dark haired gal in lace panties), so we head down to the basement and spare room game on. Now, 4 hours in a tub and countless pints i cant feel my legs let alone my unit ( felt like my 2nd day of training camp, no legs and numb). I go to the Well right away and push the dark haired gal on the bed and bend the blond over behind her. What proceeded to happen was the human centipede a la Monnraker.

Aug 16, 2011 8:33 PM ET #279 (permalink)

Olaf FTW! NOICE!

Aug 16, 2011 9:12 PM ET #280 (permalink)

Everything had to fall into place perfectly. The friend who wants to live vicariously through others (my bro).... think Vince Vaughn in Old School. The 2 ladies both 29-30 who wanna live alittle, ones divorced the others a single mom. 1 blond 1 dark haired. I would have liked to put on a better showing in hindsight, you know really get the workboots on. But do to the hottub killa and lots of booze things worked out despite. And i put my tongue in both their asses.

Aug 17, 2011 12:52 PM ET #281 (permalink)

Olaf: Pics or it never happened. o.0 Lol.

Aug 17, 2011 4:13 PM ET #282 (permalink)

I do have 1 picture of the gals getting warmed up in tub with me about ready to pull out Cyril Sneer.
Id be willing to trade for something cool.

Aug 17, 2011 4:26 PM ET #283 (permalink)

All I have is a cave painting of me in my first threesome. Did I mention that i'm old?

Aug 17, 2011 5:35 PM ET #284 (permalink)

Id say thats an even swap.

Aug 17, 2011 8:31 PM ET #285 (permalink)

lulz at BG..."cave paintings"...

Aug 19, 2011 11:27 AM ET #286 (permalink)

it's true. BG1 taught ozzy how to sing.

Aug 19, 2011 12:02 PM ET #287 (permalink)

Pretty sure I wanna run my tongue up pyretta's ass after hearing she doesn't have pubes. I'm old so it doesn't take much to get me goin.

Aug 19, 2011 12:30 PM ET #288 (permalink)

it's cool bg, age don't mean a thing. remember, after 12, it's lunch time ;)

Aug 19, 2011 1:27 PM ET #289 (permalink)

Well n0thing, i've been paying attention and she graduated from some sort of pharmaseutical school, so I have to believe that she's at least 20-21. If not this will be exhibit "A" for the defense. :D

Aug 19, 2011 4:30 PM ET #290 (permalink)

lol @ "after 12, it's lunch time" - learn something new every day. I've heard several sayings in the same vein, but not that one.

Aug 19, 2011 4:33 PM ET #291 (permalink)

"Get em before the hair does", and "If they're old enough to pee they're old enough for me" immediately come to mind.

Aug 19, 2011 4:40 PM ET #292 (permalink)

This super-hot spanish chick was blatantly hitting on me at work today, and I was blatantly staring at her tits, and her ass everytime she bent over(she was wearing a form-fitting dress with low cleavage, making it all the more important that i look). And from what I saw, my toungue needs to be there PRONTO MUCHACHO.

She did everything but give me her number, inviting me into her car to help her with something, talking with me about her personal shit, laughing at my jokes that werent even that funny(yes, I know what youre thinking "Sometimes you say things that arent funny?! GASP!) and made it a point to make sure she knew my name and I knew hers. If I had asked for her number it would have been mine.

So now I officially hate my dads dog, because it chewed my phone to shit just a few weeks ago, and bills have made it retarted difficult to replace it rightnow.

But I'm not worried, she'll be back. They always come back for my hippo dick... Oh yeah, and I'm charming, witty, and mildly memorable, so there's that.

Aug 19, 2011 7:35 PM ET #293 (permalink)

"If you're old enough to bleed, you're old enough for meee!"
"If there's grass on the field, play on it"
"I like my women the same way I like my Jack Daniels...12 years old and mixed with coke"

Okay, now that I've gotten the pedo out of my system...

FAN, that is fucking gay...But I've been there, specifically, every time I'm about to bone an Ethiopian broad. Something always ends up in the way...I've had 4 clear shots at the finest of them, but something almost divine intervenes and cockblocks me!!! Last time I had a shot, I had a girlfriend (who eventually hurt me worse than getting stabbed in the dick). I swear, if I'd have known that me and her weren't gonna last I'd have cheated, thats how hot this Ethiopian chick is...

Sep 4, 2011 8:31 PM ET #294 (permalink)

Jessie J and Daniel from American Pickers would get a dirty girl shower for sure.

Sep 4, 2011 8:51 PM ET #295 (permalink)

J-Lo

Sep 4, 2011 10:52 PM ET #296 (permalink)

@ olaf: danielle would def get repeated oral molestation of her lucious a$$ from me!!!!

Sep 5, 2011 11:38 AM ET #297 (permalink)

cave picture withthe short brush he means

Sep 5, 2011 6:13 PM ET #298 (permalink)

:) Yep.!!

Sep 5, 2011 7:20 PM ET #299 (permalink)

I dont leave the room when that shows on Branded, i keep waiting for those guys to call her at the shop for a lead or wonder when that phone will ring with a bit of good news lol!

Sep 5, 2011 8:40 PM ET #300 (permalink)

@ olaf: Just in case you didnt already have it
http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/Danielle-Colby-Cushman-American-Pickers/110186395705559

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