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Anyone got any good jokes?

Posted in: Forum Home >> General Discussion >> Anyone got any good jokes?

Displaying posts 126 - 150 of 229 1 2 ... 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Last
Displaying posts 126 - 150 of 229 1 2 ... 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Last
Apr 1, 2011 5:09 PM ET #126 (permalink)

what is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12

Apr 4, 2011 9:14 AM ET #127 (permalink)

Why did Hellen Keller wear her pants so tight.

So people could read her lips!!

Apr 4, 2011 12:14 PM ET #128 (permalink)

LMAO @ Wilco's joke...

Apr 4, 2011 2:33 PM ET #129 (permalink)

How does a nun get pregnant.?

She has to dress up like an alter boy.!

Apr 4, 2011 5:29 PM ET #130 (permalink)

that joke was... godlike!! zing!!

Apr 4, 2011 6:41 PM ET #131 (permalink)

What do Alcoholics and Necropheliacs have in common?

They both enjoy a cold one.

Apr 4, 2011 6:59 PM ET #132 (permalink)

I'll drink to that TK \m/\m/

Apr 5, 2011 6:39 PM ET #133 (permalink)

I'll tap to that ;) haha

Apr 6, 2011 4:57 PM ET #134 (permalink)

Q. What was Helen Keller's favorite color.?

A. Corduroy


Q. Why did Helen Keller's dog keep running away.?

A. You would run away too if your name was uuuuggghhhhuuuhhhh

Apr 6, 2011 5:19 PM ET #135 (permalink)

godlike's fucking killing me lmfao!!!

Apr 6, 2011 6:00 PM ET #136 (permalink)

What do you call a quad amputee on the wall? Art
What do you call a quad amputee in the pool? Bob
What do you call a quad amputee in a pile of leaves? Russel
XD

Apr 6, 2011 6:02 PM ET #137 (permalink)

What do you get when you have nuts on the wall? Wallnuts.
What do you get when you have nuts on the chest? Chestnuts.
What do you get when you have nuts on the chin? A mouth full of dick.

Apr 6, 2011 6:06 PM ET #138 (permalink)

Hahaha.

Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq?

Because everythings a Target.

Apr 6, 2011 6:07 PM ET #139 (permalink)

What do Michael Jackson and Xbox have in common?

They are both made out of plastic and get turned on by little boys.

Apr 6, 2011 6:12 PM ET #140 (permalink)

At the time Tiger Woods was having some issues....

It has been announced Tiger woods has taken on a new shirt sponser 'Tampax'
A spokesman for Tampax said, " To sponsor a cunt going through a bad period is exactly what out company is all about"

Apr 11, 2011 5:27 PM ET #141 (permalink)

Mother Teresa died and went to heaven. God greeted her at the Pearly Gates. "Be thou hungry, Mother Teresa?" asked God.

"I could eat," Mother Teresa replied.

So God opened a can of tuna and reached for a chunk of rye bread and they began to share it. While eating this humble meal, Mother Teresa looked down into Hell and saw the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, and pastries. Curious, but deeply trusting, she remained quiet.

The next day God again invited her to join him for a meal. Again, it was tuna and rye bread. Once again, Mother Teresa could see the denizens of Hell enjoying lamb, turkey, venison, and delicious desserts. Still she said nothing.

The following day, mealtime arrived and another can of tuna was opened. She couldn't contain herself any longer. Meekly, she asked, "God, I am grateful to be in heaven with you as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread and in the Other Place they eat like emperors and kings! I just don't understand it..."

God sighed. "Let's be honest Teresa,"

He said, ". . . for just two people, it doesn't pay to cook."

Apr 11, 2011 6:00 PM ET #142 (permalink)

Nice one Wilco. You cut and pasted that didn't you? Diiidn't you?

Apr 11, 2011 6:03 PM ET #143 (permalink)

Lol. some good jokes here.

Any new ones , Brother Bg?

Apr 11, 2011 6:09 PM ET #144 (permalink)

Not yet, I'll post one when I hear one good enough to share. \m/\m/

Apr 12, 2011 12:43 AM ET #145 (permalink)

I got a good joke!

Your mother in bed.

Apr 12, 2011 6:16 AM ET #146 (permalink)

What time do you go to the dentist?

Toothurty.

Apr 19, 2011 7:23 PM ET #147 (permalink)

A woman can't get her husband to do any of the chores around the house. When she asks him to mow the lawn, he replies "does it say John Deere on my shirt?" When she asks him to fix the washing machine, he says "it doesn't say 'Maytag Repairman' on my shirt the last time I looked." Exasperated, she waits until he is at work one day and recruits a hunky young man to fix everything around the house. When he gets home, he completely goes off and asks his wife how much she had to pay to get all the things taken care of. "Well," she says, "he told me I could either bake him a cake or give him a BJ as payment." To that, the husband replied - "You must have baked him a nice cake, of course!" The wife replied, "Does it say Betty Crocker on my apron?"

Apr 20, 2011 11:56 PM ET #148 (permalink)

ST - That is an awesome joke man! hahaha

Sep 26, 2011 8:55 PM ET #149 (permalink)

Why did Euronymous cross the road?
He didn't. Varg stabbed him in the fucking face.

Sep 26, 2011 9:06 PM ET #150 (permalink)

Also,
Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The holocaust.

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