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Satyrasis

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Latest Satyrasis News

Below is our complete Satyrasis news coverage, including columns and articles pertaining to the band. Some articles listed may be indirectly related, such as side projects of the band members, etc.

Satyrasis Checks In With Band Update

Michigan based act Satyrasis has checked in with the following update about the band's activity:

"Legions, since our last blog was in January....I guess it's time get you guys up to speed on the haps, as it were. First some FAQ's that have been piling up in the Satyrasis Fan Mail. ‘Why haven't there been more updates on Myspace’ -- Tex, Tuscalooosa, AL. Because none of you retards are on myspace anymore, even though it is (sad to say) a superior medium.

"‘Why aren't you on Facebook’ -- Freddie, Bangor, ME. We are at this location. ‘Do you still have a drummer’ -- Phil, Golden, CO. Yes, Dimitri Mitropoulos, who has been back in the band for nearly 9 months. ‘What's up with that Mike guy drumming for you at shows’ -- Tony From Battlecross. Mike's a good friend who was helping us out with some shows we got offered, he didn't join the band. He might do so again in the future, but we probably won't need him to.

"On to the real update. For the last year, we've slowly been piecing together songs for a new record. (emphasis on slowly). Now that Dimitri has returned and we're able to get in a room together and jam...things are starting to take some real shape. More...

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Satyrasis Announces New Drummer

Michigan metallers Satyrasis have issued the following update about recruiting a drummer and recording a new album:

"Dearest Closet Sophie B. Hawkins Fans, we have some news regarding our recently vacated percussion position. Surprisingly good news, too! We'd like you to meet our new drummer. (not representative of actual likeness) Unfortunately, I'm pulling your leg.......obviously we don't really have a two-headed Muppet drumming for us. (which is a shame, because if we did, we get a record deal in a second. Not to mention the amount of cock smashing awesome it would be)

"I digress. The real reason for the blog is a two fold introduction and re-re-re-reintroduction of our new drumming tandem. Firstly, we'd like to welcome Dimitri Mitropoulos back into the band with great humility knowing full well that he should've never went anywhere in the first place. Dimitri's exploits at 8 1/2 & Dequindre are well documented in Satyralore, but if you need convincing....check out his wiki. Dimitri will be the guy you hear on next Satyrasis record and any subsequent recordings that follow. We're just glad to have him back. More...

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Satyrasis Parts Ways With Drummer

Michigan metallers Satyrasis has issued the following statement about parting ways with their drummer:

"Object Permanence: the understanding that objects continue to exist even when they cannot be seen, heard, or touched. This kiddies is our term of the day......or probably, the next decade. You will have to learn to develop it in the instance of this band from here on out. To start things off, Jake Bryan has quite perplexingly decided to run straight out from left field and quit the band. Details are erroneous, but we can say with much certainty that if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck....chances are it drummed for us and it ended badly. We have, thankfully, been informed that a better band has already been formed, which will be reprieving you from us, as soon as you die from holding your breath.

"With the posturing over with, let me be quite frank with the supermassive legion that is our fanbase........We're idiots, the lot of us. If you know us, you know this already. We make bad decisions so much, you'd think it makes us cum....... It doesn't. Shortsightedness, unneeded pressure & sacrifice, trusting those unworthy of trust, taking seriously those who are habitually insincere. The Zit has (finally) popped.

"Sadly, short of the miraculous.....we will be confining ourselves to the back of bus.....and since it's Satyrasis, it's a pretty short bus. We won't be too concerned with much else besides perusing exploits that don't involve whatever it is that metal bands are becoming in 2010 or the standards by which those bands are judged. This is not a Requiem for a Satyrasis....yet. And we'll be sure to let you know when it is. Until then.....object permanence is key."

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