From: Los Angeles, CA, United States
Last Known Status: Disbanded
Latest Dark Angel News
Below is our complete Dark Angel news coverage, including columns and articles pertaining to the band. Some articles listed may be indirectly related, such as side projects of the band members, etc.
Note: We began associating news directly with bands in late 2003. Therefore, earlier band news may not be listed on this page.
While everyone’s talking about Christmas approaching, the Bloodstock festival organizer's sights are firmly fixed on next August. What better way to roll into the festive season than to announce three more crackin’ bands for 2015’s premier heavy metal event?
First up is thrash outfit Overkill. Front man Bobby ‘Blitz’ Ellsworth says: “We are loading the BIG guns and setting sail for the UK this summer! Be warned! The island is in danger, it's a White Devil Army....Lets make Bloodstock 2015 a bloodbath!”
Folk metal Finns Ensiferum are also joining the party, having recently wrapped recording on brand new album, "One Man Army," set for release on February 23rd.
Austrian blackened death metal overlords Belphegor will also make a return to Catton Park in 2015. Frontman/guitarist and founder Helmuth Lehner comments: “Belphegor returns to the ingenious Bloodstock Open Air! We will play at the main stage and promote our latest offering ‘Conjuring The Dead.’ Belphegor will bring you the most intense ritual possible. Join the pit and prepare for Diabolical Death Metal chaos.” More...
The organizers of the Bloodstock 2015 festival have issued the following announcement about new band confirmations:
"Bloodstock early bird tickets are flying out the door in the wake of Halloween’s Rob Zombie headline announcement, but here at festival HQ we aren’t resting on our laurels, we’ve got even more bands ready to add on to the bill!
"British stoner/doom overlords, Orange Goblin are set for a main stage slot in 2015. Having recently unleashed their eighth studio album, 'Back From The Abyss' via Candlelight Records, the band are currently laying waste to Europe on tour with the mighty St Vitus. Check out the brand new video for ‘Sabbath Hex’ from the new release here.
?Norwegian black metallers 1349 also sign up. With latest studio album ‘Massive Cauldron Of Chaos’ recently hitting the racks, the band have also found time to collaborate with Minnesota’s Surly Brewing Company and launch their own ‘1349 Black Ale’. Check out this informative video clip featuring drummer Frost and vocalist Ravn explaining how the whole thing came about over here. More...
This Halloween, Bloodstock has some howlingly good news to share! Are you a fan of the undead? Love zombies? The fiendishly brilliant Rob Zombie is confirmed as Sunday’s 2015 main stage headliner, bringing his full production to Catton Park.
Rob Zombie exclaims, "I am so ready to get on a plane, and get my ass over to merry ol' England for Bloodstock. We've had some of the best shows of our lives over there and can't wait to add this to the list. Besides, it's called ‘Bloodstock' so how could it not be bloody fucking fun?”
Expect to witness a spectacular range of Rob Zombie classics as well as choice cuts from the band’s most recent studio album "Venomous Rat Regeneration Vendor." Check out this cut below of "Superbeast" from last year’s "The Zombie Horror Picture Show" DVD, which captured Rob and his zombie bandmates John 5, Piggy D, and Ginger Fish on the road.
Other bands confirmed for the 2015 festival include Within Temptation, Opeth, Cannibal Corpse, Sepultura, Death DTA, Dark Angel, Ihsahn, and Nuclear Assault. More...
Recently reunited thrash metal pioneers Dark Angel will soon return to the stage for the first time in over 10 years.
The first appearance will be April 26th, 2014 at The Metal Fest in Santiago Chile, where Dark Angel will share the stage with Megadeth, Hypocrisy, Voivod, and At The Gates. Dark Angel took a break from rehearsals to greet the Chilean fans in the video below.
"We are going to rip your fuckin heads off," comments drummer Gene Hoglan on the upcoming shows. Dates are as follows:
- The Metal Fest, April 26 in Santiago Chile
- Neurotic Death Fest, May 4th in Tilburg, Holland
- Maryland Deathfest, May 22-25, 2014 in Baltimore, Maryland
- Sweden Rock Festival June 4-7, 2014 in Sölvesborg, Sweden
- Jalometalii Metal Music Festival August 8-9, 2014 in Oulu, Finland
Dark Angel 2014 consists of:
Gene Hoglan (drums)
Jim Durkin (guitar)
Eric Meyer (guitar)
Ron Rinehart (vocals)
Michael Gonzalez (bass) More...
After a long bout of "will they, won't they?" last year, Dark Angel has officially reunited and now has a video clip out addressing fans.
Check out the message from the band below. You can also see recently released rehearsal footage at this location. Dark Angel 2014 is:
Jim Durkin - guitars
Eric Meyer - guitars
Ron Rinehart - vocals
Gene Hoglan - drums
Michael Gonzalez - bass
In early February, recently reunited thrash metal pioneers Dark Angel rehearsed with the full lineup in southern California. A brief video clip of the rehearsal has now been posted online and can be seen below.
During these rehearsals Dark Angel was fortunate enough to connect with photographer Alex Solca for a photo shoot with the current lineup. Check out a photo from that session after the jump.
After releasing a series of statements about the possibility of a reunion, members of legendary thrash metal pioneers Dark Angels united at The Gene Hoglan Experience on October 1st at The Whisky in Hollywood, CA.
Photographer Alex Solca happened to be on the scene to capture the rare meeting between newly confirmed member Eric Meyer (guitar), Gene Hoglan (drums), and Jim Durkin (guitar).
Dark Angel will reform for a limited number of appearances in 2014 in the US and select festivals in Europe. These dates are still pending and have not yet been booked at this time.
The confirmed line-up for these rare and unique, select 2014 shows feature Gene Hoglan (drums), Eric Meyer (guitar), Jim Durkin (guitar), Ron Rinehart (vocals), and Michael Gonzalez (bass). More...
Recently the various members of Dark Angel issued statements about the possibility of a reunion and shows to occur next year, which can be read at this location. Now the band's management has posted this following clarification about the reunion:
"Due to the recent rumor-inducing statements made by estranged ex-Dark Angel singer Don Doty, the band is forced to offer a premature release of information.
"Dark Angel will reform for a limited number of appearances in 2014 in the U.S. and select festivals in Europe. These dates are still pending and have not yet been booked at this time.
"The confirmed line-up for these rare and unique, select 2014 shows features Gene Hoglan (drums), Jim Durkin (guitar), Ron Rinehart (vocals) and Michael Gonzalez (bass).
The lack of responsibility that Don Doty is displaying by posting false information and unfounded rumors is creating confusion for Dark Angel fans. There is no 'Team Don Doty' or 'Team Ron Rinehart.' There is ONLY Dark Angel. We will not be a part of anything that damages this band and its reputation."
Each member of Dark Angel has come forward to express thoughts about future touring rumors that have been posted across the web, apparently calling into question whether the Keep It True Festival confirmation was correct. Gene Hoglan states:
"I'm here to state that again, DFA is still talking about doing shows in 2014. As of now, none of the members have booked anything in regards to fests or individual dates. Of course, there are the rumors of certain fests being booked, but any talks that may have occurred, were done so without the ENTIRE bands' knowledge and acquiescence, and therefore cannot be deemed as credible. One thing that holds true to us is that we feel that Dark Angel's legacy is in danger of being tarnished if these random acts were to continue. There are a host of valid reasons why Dark Angel has been slow to react to the myriad offers we have received in the past to reunite, but the most important reason is that we wish to do the greatest service possible to our fans, and if that means the time has yet to be right, then the time has not been right. And, concerning the immediate future of 2014, if the time and conditions are not right, then again, they will not be right for all involved. Most importantly, our fans.
"We do realize that yes, reunions are quite the norm these days. Dark Angel however, has never conformed to the norm, and we refuse to reunite unless we can come back and give our fans the most stellar situation possible. Which is precisely what we are working towards behind the scenes. We greatly appreciate everyone's enthusiastic response to the possibility of a proper reunion, and as a unit, Dark Angel will do what will be best. For us and our amazing fan base. Again, we truly appreciate all of you."
Jim Durkin also states:
“To our Kick Ass Fans: It has come to my attention that shows are being booked and promises being made in the name of Dark Angel and some of it's former members. No one as far as I know, has been given authority to speak for or conduct business on behalf of Dark Angel, myself or any other Ex member. Not to mention making any promises regarding the future of the band. There are other Ex members who would love to be Involved in this if it is done correctly! And protect our Legacy!
"I and others behind the scenes here have asked other ex members many times to stop the postings on Facebook, other web sites, and doing interviews regarding the future of the band. But it continues.... This is all premature. There have been NO rehearsals yet, and little if any face-to-face meetings. But we are talking about 2014! I'm all for a guy doing an interview and talking about his glory days with the band. But if you start making unapproved statements about the future of the Band? You're off course! More...
Recently, some rumors have been spreading across the web about an upcoming Dark Angel reunion (note that the band was confirmed for Keep It True Festival 2014). Drummer Gene Hoglan (Testament) and vocalist Don Doty have taken the time to make a statement addressing these rumors, which will hopefully put any confusion to rest.
Gene states, "Howdy everybody. Now that I'm off the road for a few minutes, I'd like to address these Dark Angel rumors that are flying around. Yes, we have been talking about doing something next year, and although it looks like possibly some festivals could be in the works, right now it's just speculation. Don Doty and myself have been in contact for the first time in many many years, and it's been great to re-connect with my old friend.
"Fortunately, I've remained great buddies with all the DFA guys after all these years, and we do try to stay in contact with each other and see each other when we can, especially since we are all spread out over the Western US. We are indeed discussing the possibility of a reunion, and yes, the DFA guys are well aware of all of my other commitments, such as Testament, Dethklok and the like. So again, we are moving forward s-l-o-w-l-y, with hopes to getting Dark Angel's wings off the ground for festival season in 2014."
Dark Angel vocalist Don Doty added: "Members of Dark Angel are currently sitting down for talks for a reunion. This will be for the year 2014. All are excited. I was talking on a radio show recently and had said that all members would be attending, this statement may have been misunderstood. Myself, Gene, Mike, Eric and Jim are talking and when talks are complete a statement will be given. We will know more in the months to come. We will let you know as it unravels." More...
Organizers of the Keep It True Festival in Germany have announced that the Saturday headliner will be the reunited Dark Angel, with original vocalist Don Doty, Eric Meyer (Guitars), Mike Gonzalez (Bass) and new guitarist Justin Zych. Thought not officially confirmed, the announcement hints that drummer Gene Hoglan may return as well.
Dark Angel joins another reunited act to appear at the festival: Jag Panzer, who will play with guitaris Joey Tafolla. The roster announcement reads:
"We are extremely proud that we can announce the big Saturday headliner for Keep It True 2014.
"Thrash Metal legends Dark Angel will play their very first show with original singer Don Doty at KIT 2014. Also in the line up are Eric Meyer (guit.), Mike Gonzalez (bass) and Justin Zych (guit.). The drummer is not confirmed yet, but will be announced very soon. Looks like it will be a famous person from Dark Angel history, too.
"With 'Darkness Descends' Dark Angel recorded a milestone in Thrash Metal and at KIT you will see AT LEAST three musicians from that record performing. It will be legendary!!
"The festival is already COMPLETELY SOLD OUT. Thanks for your outstanding support!"
Here is the billing so far:
Dark Angel (USA) (First Time in Europe with Original Singer Don Doty)
Jag Panzer (USA) (Special Early Days Show for the first time in Europe with Joey Tafolla)
Flotsam & Jetsam (USA) (Exclusive “No Place For The Deceiver” Show)
Hexx (USA) (special old school show)
Sinner (GER) (Special Old School Show)
Atlantean Kodex (GER)
Persian Risk (UK)
Iron Cross (USA)
Deep Machine (UK)
Night Demon (USA)
Iron Kingdom (USA) More...
LA thrashers Anger As Art have completed the recording of their 4th album "Hubris, Inc." Mixing is currently underway, and the band is looking for a late spring/early summer worldwide release.
Says mainman Steve Gaines: "We approach every album like it might be our last, so we put everything we had into it. It is a 14 song epic. 2 of the songs we consider to be bonus tracks – in that they illustrate the history of where Anger As Art came from.
"One is actually a song called 'Speed Kills' that was written for Abattoir in 1984 by Dan Oliverio and me. This was while we were still finishing the Vicious Attack album. Juan Garcia had just left to join Agent Steel, and Dan was a new member. He had the basic riff, and I added music and lyrics to it. Fast forward 28 years, and Mark 'the Shark' Caro (Abattoir lead guitarist) contributed the solo for this song. Nonetheless, this is an Abattoir song performed by all Abattoir members. A nice capstone for a band that had a hand in shaping what thrash became.
"The other one is a song originally done by Pagan War Machine. PWM was a short-lived band featuring myself and Jim Durkin (Dark Angel). It is actually the band that Anger As Art evolved from. Anyway, the song is called 'Rage And Retribution'. Jim was kind enough to offer the guitar solo for the song. In addition to Jim, bass guitar was played by my brother Timothy Gaines from Stryper! This is the first time he and I have ever worked together musically. And… the lead vocal is a trade off between me and Betsy Bitch. While on tour as Bitch last year, Betsy offered 'If you need female vocals, I am your gal.' Seriously, did you ever think you'd see the day when members of Dark Angel, Stryper and Bitch would appear on the same song? Somewhere, Al and Tipper Gore are choking.
"Also, Winterthrall / Semtex Vest/ Evil Dead vocalist Steve Nelson came in and dropped some epic black metal growls and screams on the song 'The Evil You Create.' A complete honor to be able to share this album with such luminaries in the metal world."
Imagika guitarist Steve Rice recently announced the band has officially called it a day. He has now issued the following announcement about forming the new band Kill Ritual with members of Dark Angel and Eldritch:
"Kill ritual is here! Featuring member of Imagika, Dark Angel and Eldritch! Kill ritual is here! New band, new music, same mission! Kill ritual is:
Steve Rice (x Imagika) - lead guitar
Wayne de Vecchi (x Hellhound, Doom Society, Imagika) - drums
Roberto Prioetti (x Eldritch) - guitar
Josh Gibson - vocals
Danyael williams (x Dark Angel)- bass
" More info, photo's, music and tour dates too come! New CD 'serpentine rituals' in 2011!"
Thrashers MEMORAIN, whose current line-up of the band includes main-man Ilias Papadakis, Gene Hoglan (Fear Factory, ex-Dark Angel, ex-Strapping Young Lad, etc), Steve Digiorgio (Sadus, ex-Death, ex-Testament, etc), Ralph Santolla (Obituary, ex-Deicide, ex-Iced Earth, etc) and Chris Valagao (Zimmers Hole, Mechanism, etc), has revealed the artwork and tracklisting for their upcoming full-length album, "Evolution," scheduled for a 2011 release, which is as follows:
01. Nations On Fire
02 Where Hate Lies
03. The Break
04. Rules Of Engagement
05. Destiny Found
06. A New Era
07. Methods Of The Past
08. Death Shop
10. Power Out
11. Scratching The Surface
Also to be featured on MEMORAIN's latest album are a few more star-studded guest musicians such as David Ellefson, Tim "Ripper" Owens, Jeff Waters, Christian Wentz, Marc Pattison, Laura Christine and Carlos E. Perez.
David Ellefson recorded 2 songs "A New Era" and "Rules Of Engagement", as well as co-wrote "Rules Of Engagement" with MEMORAIN guitar-player Ilias Papadakis and Tim "Ripper" Owens. On top of that, Tim "Ripper" Owens recorded vocals on "Rules Of Engagement" and Laura Christine also contributed a solo on the song "Destiny Found". More...
Dark Angel is a thrash band that formed in 1981 and played on and off up until 2005. They were pretty big in the Bay City thrash movement, so you might call them some of our "thrash granddads." If you care you can read their whole story here. It's really awesome that we're still able to experience some of the music that influenced the bands we love today. This video is a live clip from their 1989 show in Hammersmith, London. This of course was back when you could wear tight jeans and have feathered hair and not get your ass beat by the other metal heads. More...
Southern California thrash metal band ARMY OF DARKNESS has tapped current DREAMS OF DAMNATION/EX-DARK ANGEL guitarist Jim Durkin to lay down guest guitar solos for their upcoming debut album, "Forever Undead." The album will be self-released through the band’s MySpace site in Summer, 2009.
States ARMY OF DARKNESS drummer/founding member Derin Argon:
“We had just parted ways with our second guitarist and we had already booked studio time to start recording. We really wanted get our album out, so I talked to Jim about playing guest lead guitar on it, and he was totally into it. I first met him 9 or 10 years ago. Of course, Jim’s a great player, an awesome dude, and a great friend. He was one of my biggest heroes growing up, and his music is a huge influence and inspiration on the style and sound of our band. It was a lot of fun and an honor to have him play on our CD.”
“We are currently looking for a new permanent lead guitarist. Anyone interested can contact us via our MySpace page or can send YouTube links and MP3s to Kaotickreature@yahoo.com.”
ARMY OF DARKNESS will be opening the Bakersfield Dome show on the upcoming 2009 SOILWORK, DARKANE, WARBRINGER, and SWALLOW THE SUN tour and the San Marcos show on the 2009 tour with DESTRUCTION, KRISIUN, and MANTIC RITUAL.
Pearl Drums is hosting an autograph session at this year's Winter NAMM Show (National Association of Music Merchants), which runs from January 17 to January 20 at the Anaheim Convention Center in Anaheim, California. The signing will take place at 2:00 p.m. on Saturday, January 19 at the Pearl booth. It will feature some of the best-known artists in rock and metal, including the following:
Adrian Erlandsson (CRADLE OF FILTH, NEMHAIN)
Barry Kerch (SHINEDOWN)
Chad Smith (RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS)
Craig Nunenmacher (BLACK LABEL SOCIETY)
Eric Singer (KISS, ALICE COOPER)
Gene Hoglan (STRAPPING YOUNG LAD, DEATH, DARK ANGEL)
Jimmy DeGrasso (MEGADETH, SUICIDAL TENDENCIES, Y&T)
Johnny Kelly (TYPE O NEGATIVE)
Matt McDonough (MUDVAYNE)
Mike Mangini (ANNIHILATOR, EXTREME)
Morgan Rose (SEVENDUST)
Vinnie Paul (HELLYEAH, PANTERA)
Important: The NAMM Show is **NOT** open to the public. The only attendees are NAMM member companies and their invited guests.
Legendary drummer Gene Hoglan (DARK ANGEL, DEATH, STRAPPING YOUNG LAD, TESTAMENT) has issued the following update:
"I'm currently in Stockholm, Sweden, after just returning from a highly successful and awesome string of dates in Italy with my bitches, MELDRUM.
"I'd like to say a big thank you and hello to all our friends and fans who came to the shows; you guys are great! I must admit, your women are beautiful, but I had to travel all the way to Italy to eat the worst pizza ever. Not once, but twice! But another thank you must go out to our promoter/hosts, Gianrico and the lovely Fiorenza. And, I do need to thank my MELDRUM bitches for taking such good care of me over there. I was like a spoiled kid most of the time, so my heart and thanks go out to them for lookin' out for me.
"And let me tell ya, a week on the road turns them bitches HORNY! Their palpable lust for Mandingo was replaced with one for Rocco Siffredi, and one could only imagine the pillow fights and hot-oil rubdowns that occured in their hotel rooms on a nightly basis. That's what girlies do every night, right? Hee hee. I don't know, but these bitches were smart, they got me my own room every night, probably 'cuz the only thing I do louder than play drums is SLEEP. Could well be that was why...
"So now, we have another couple of shows in Sweden, then I have to go back early to play one DETHKLOK show at an undisclosed location in the States.
"Speaking of DETHKLOK, what a blast that quick tour was. Getting to play with the MASTERFUL musicians that were Misters Kenneally, Beller, and Small; wow, talk about heaven. I was definitely the SCRUB musician on that stage every night, believe me. And, say what you want about the show, I love it, and the live show was waaaaay cool! I had to crack up during the set quite a few times in the beginning, 'til I got used to some of the dialogue.
"Anyway, I think the live show is really sharp, and I strongly suggest all metalheads check us out if we come near your town in 2008.
"As for 2008, it too will be pretty chaotic, and one of the things I'm most looking forward to is being a part of the 'reunion of the year,' in my opinion, which involves the return of the mighty FORBIDDEN. As I understand, Mr. Bostaph [Paul Bostaph; TESTAMENT, ex-SLAYER, FORBIDDEN, EXODUS] has prior commitments, so my FORBIDDEN brethren reached out to me and I was very honored to say yes. I'm sure more details will come from their camp soon, but I just wanted to make a quick mention of it right here. I'll keep everyone posted with some updates soon.
"As for a DVD update, I thank everyone's impatience in this matter, and yes, I KNOW I promised it's release months ago, but as I'm a bit of a control freak (only in this matter, I assure you), and this schedule of mine over the past few months has been pretty brutal, I've just needed all this time to get it done right. It won't be perfect, but it will be something I can be proud of, and hopefully something you'll be proud to have in your collection.
"Also, a GIANT THANK YOU to all who have purchased a GENESHIRT, whether manly or girlie. WOW! We've just re-ordered, due to selling out of most of the first pressing. Very cool, and quite unbelievable, guys, so again, thank you!
"Now, as everyone in the metal world knows, the holidays for all of us now are forever bittersweet. With rememberences for the loss of Chuck and Dime, and now with the untimely passing of our new brother Vitek, the holiday cheer might not seem so, I don't know...cheery. But, I'm sure a crestfallen feeling would be the last thing any of these gentlemen would want from us, so with a glass in one hand and horns raised in the other, we remember our fallen brothers with a...smile. And maybe a cranking-up of the volume.
"Thanks for listening, everybody. A happy holidays to all of ya..."
Drummer Gene Hoglan formerly of DARK ANGEL, DEATH, STRAPPING YOUNG LAD and TESTAMENT has issued the following update:
"Well, hello everyone, GUESS WHAT? MY SHIRTS ARE FINALLY ON SALE! YAY!
"And Jeez, that was like pulling teeth! What was supposed to be a quick, simple little endeavor took over 8 months from concept to completion. Ho-LEE! All for some stupid SHIRTS!
"But, as you can see the designs, they're bad as fuck, and this initial run of T-shirts and work shirts will range all the way from size medium to 4XL (the 5XLs will be on the next order, ya BALLOONS!), and the girlie-T 'boybeaters' will run from medium to large. Plus, we've got the system down pretty good around here, so your order will get shipped out same day, next day at the latest. And, for those females who would be interested, I'm going to be running a 'Hoglan Hottie of the Month' section over on my website, and how that's gonna work is this; when you buy a shirt and it is delivered to you, take (or have taken) a few shots of yourself modeling it in as sexy a way as you see fit, send 'em in, and you will then be well on your way to that 'T-shirt modeling career' you've always wanted. It's gonna be awesome!
"To order one (or TEN!), just go back to my page, and punch up any of the 3 design pics, and it'll take you directly to my shop!
"Now, I gotta admit, we're still working out the bugs on the 'Shop' end (sorry Europe, for not being able to order shirts! I think we have that bug ironed out now), and that's the main reason I've been waiting to pull the trigger on this whole thing. But, since I just got impatient, and against my advisors here at GHI, I decided to damn the torpedoes and make my little announcement anyway.
"To go along with all of this, my website, HoglanIndustries.com is now also up and running, so stop by and check it out! That is DEFINITELY a work-in-progress, so, cut me some slack on that one. I also have a brand new GeneHoglanMusic page up on Myspace. You can find it here: myspace.com/genehoglanmusic. It'll soon be featuring tons of music from me you don't ordinarily hear too much. Except, right now it's got a buncha stuff you might have heard already, but I'll get one of my lab-coats here at GHI to fix that.
"Now, on to my DVD, 'The Atomic Clock'. I realize that I've been keeping relatively quiet about it of late, but I do want to say that we've completed the filming and editing of it, and it has come out great! I'm really excited! Now, for the last couple weeks while I was in Australia, New Zealand and Alaska with UNEARTH, the minions here at GHI have been finalizing the cover art for it, and it will be going on sale the first couple weeks in September, just past my birthday! What better present can ya give to Gene than by giving yourself the prescence of Gene in your DVD player? I'm all for it! Again, closer to it's release date, I'll be writing a much more detailed account.
"Well, that's about it for that subject for now. Oh, and by the way, for the Aussie fans who will be attended the UNEARTH shows, thanks for buying shirts!
"Speaking of which, I had a real good time jammin' with the boys down there. Ken, a big ball of loud, Slo, my bro and best roomie ever, Mr Phipps, the man commands respect when he walks into a room, and Buz, quite possibly the most hilarious dude to ever be on tour. It was a blast, and I wish them all the best in the future. Yehyehyeh!
"On a quick aside, the tour got off to quite an auspicious start upon touch-down in New Zealand. I'm cruising through customs, when they throw up an X-ray machine upon exiting. Who DOES that? Anyway, they X-ray my stuff, see my contraband, and freak. Alarms, sirens, dogs, screaming guards, high-powered rifles all pointed at my head, the whole shebang. All for the BURRITO I was 'smuggling' from LAX. I'd bought it, taken a bite, and shoved it down to the bottom of my bag, and promptly forgot about it. Oh yeah, I'm kiddin' about the dogs and guards and the whole freak-out part, but it woulda made a way better story if it did happen. Anyway, they take me into the corner and start hittin' me with, 'This is food, you filled out the card that says you're not bringing in food, yet this is food.' And the customs goof has apparently never seen a burrito before, 'cause he's lookin' at it like it's a Martian relic or something. Then he writes it up as a 'meat sandwich,' and I'm like, 'Hey! That's not a 'meat sandwich', it's a burrito!' And he's like, 'A baa…what? How do you spell that?' And I tell him, 'Hey, it ain't my job to teach you how to spell 'burrito', Customs Goof.' Anyway, I do not get off lightly. They charge me TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS right then and there. Jeez! I told 'em, 'I can get rid o' this evidence right here and now, Customs Goof,' but they wanted my dough, not my satisfied belly. Bogus…so, that was the Most Expensive. Burrito. Ever. Damn, I shoulda keistered it…
"Burrito-smuggling. Sounds pervy."
According to MTV.com, the greatest metal-parody album since "This Is Spinal Tap" is coming our way. No, CROTCHDUSTER hasn't signed to Roadrunner Records — DETHKLOK are getting ready to infect the world with their debut. The stars of the animated Cartoon Network "Adult Swim" program "Metalocalypse" will release two editions of "Dethalbum" on September 25. The regular format will feature 16 tracks, including "Murmaider", "Briefcase Full of Guts", "Birthday Dethday", "Bloodrocuted" and "Deththeme". The double-disc deluxe edition will feature a second CD of six additional tracks, such as "Duncan Hills Coffee Jingle", "Blood Ocean" and "Pickles' Intro - Kill You". The package will also feature the video for "Bloodrocuted" and the first episode from the show's second season, which debuts the last week of September. A DVD of the entire first season will be released October 2.
"Dethalbum" features a guest appearance by legendary drummer Gene Hoglan (STRAPPING YOUNG LAD, DEATH, DARK ANGEL, TESTAMENT). He previously stated about the CD, "What a killer metal record! I can't wait for everyone else to hear it, and since it has now been slated for a September 25th release, that is now gonna be sooner than later, especially with leakage. And yes, it appears that we are going on tour with it as well! The logistics are being worked on as we speak, but it looks like it's gonna be a real killer, multi-media show. I'm looking real forward to that, I've even suspended the booking of a ton of clinics to clear my schedule to be available."